Author: fuchsiag

Children of Men

Last night I finally went to see Children of Men; haven’t been to the cinema in a while, but this was one I’d wanted to see ever since I heard the premise, I didn’t even need to see a trailer. It was pretty intense, and it feels slightly wrong to say “I loved it” about a movie about the end of the world, but it was fantastic. One of the things about really good stories concerning alternate realities, futures, worlds or whatever, is the believability factor. That’s why I love shows like Torchwood so much – the writing and the stories just bring a disturbing sense of “this could actually happen”, on a level that doesn’t need monsters and aliens to be frightening; the mere idea of the very real possibility that it all could happen is scary enough on its own.

The most disturbing part, I found, was the fact that yes, it was the end of the world, but unlike say, War of the Worlds, it wasn’t an invasion or some global disaster that threatened to end humanity without too much delay. Everyday life was a long, slow walk towards the end of the world, consumed by the knowledge that existence no longer had any meaning. In fifty or sixty years, the human race would be extinct, and life was merely the resulting insanity that was complete and utter destruction and chaos in the streets.

It was very different. You just don’t see movies like this. Movies usually require a willing suspension of disbelief in order to be entertained; this needed no such thing. I don’t even think “entertained” would be the right word to describe it. It was just shocking to fathom a reality that could very well happen, who knows, obviously not in the near future but who’s to say in a couple of hundred years something like that is impossible? What happens to humanity when it’s told that life no longer has any purpose; for surely our ultimate goal is to carry on the species. An incredibly insightful and frighteningly real depiction of what happens when purpose is taken away. Go see it.

Doctor Who can help save science, says minister

… rather than technical and “boring” textbooks, according to the new science minister.

Malcolm Wicks, who was appointed in November following the resignation of Lord Sainsbury, believes that too many pupils are put off science during school.

He claims that popular television shows such as the hit BBC science fiction series provide children with an insight into real science that teachers can use to kick-start lessons. Science education campaign groups have warned, however, that shows such as Doctor Who often involve ideas that have little basis in science.

Mr Wicks said: “If you start a lesson with the chemical formulae you will lose 90 per cent of the class. If you start with something interesting or important, like something they read in the paper or saw on television, they will remain interested.

“It can be part of an entrée to some of the more technical, important but slightly more boring parts of the subject. If I was a teacher I would start with a chunk from Doctor Who and Billie Piper and say, ‘Actually, what was that all about and how is our textbook relevant to that?’

“Take R2D2 from the Star Wars films, for example. We are already doing that kind of stuff in robotics. I would show that, talk about how you would build a thing like that and its uses in the future in the home, in caring for people and for space exploration.”

Mr Wicks believes that it is essential to produce a generation of children who are science-literate so that they can go on to help in making the decisions Britain is likely to face on issues such as climate change and medical research.

However, Derek Bell, the chief executive of the Association of Science Education, said: “We all enjoy programmes such as Doctor Who, but teachers would need to be careful to make it clear which bits are science and which fantasy.”

Goodbye 2006

That was probably one of the most… memorable Christmases I’ve ever had. The year is almost done and I can’t believe how much has happened. These Faithless lyrics kind of sum up the past year, in a way:

So much more than I thought this world could ever hold
So much more than I thought this world could ever hold

We think we’re heroes, we think we’re kings
We plan all kinds of fabulous things
Oh look how great we have become

Key in the door, the moment I’ve been longing for
Before my bag hits the floor
My adorable children rush up screaming for a kiss,
and a story, they’re a gift to this world
My only claim to glory
I surely never knew sweeter days
Blows my mind like munitions
I’m amazed

So much heaven, so much hell
So much love, so much pain
So much more than I thought this world could ever contain
So much war, so much soul
One man’s loss, another man’s goal
So much more than I thought this world can ever hold
We’re just children, we’re just dust
We are small and we are lost
And we’re nothing, nothing at all

One bomb, the whole block gone
Can’t find me children and dust covers the sun
Everywhere is noise, panic and confusion
But to some, another fun day in Babylon
I’m gonna bury my wife and dig up my gun
My life is done, so now I’ve got to kill someone

So much heaven, so much hell
So much love, so much pain
So much more than I thought this world could ever contain
So much war, so much soul
One man’s loss, another man’s goal
So much more than I thought this world could ever hold

So much more than I thought this world could ever hold
So much more than I thought this world could ever hold

So much heaven, so much hell
So much love, so much pain
So much more than I thought this world could ever contain
So much war, so much soul
One man’s loss, another man’s goal
So much more than I thought this world could ever hold

It’s a strange year to look back on. The beginning held a lot of promise, and a lot of wonderful things happened this year. I met some amazing people, I got a really good job, had some fun parties, started a course, became a lot closer with my dad, got my kittens who I absolutely love… got a David Tennant postcard!! A lot of really good things happened this year, and a lot of crap too. I learned a lot about myself, about relationships, about trust… I’ve always believed that love will overcome anything, call me naive if you will but I’m a hopeless romantic at heart.

Love is such a strange thing – scary, at the thought of the pain it can cause, and wonderful, at the pure joy as well. I did come close to losing faith in it throughout this year, but despite all the crap it can bring; when I do continue to love, I’ll keep doing so like I can’t get hurt. If you don’t open yourself up and take the risk for fear of being hurt, and it can be an incredible pain… you just miss out on some of the most amazingly wonderful feelings and experiences. I think what I’m saying is that I have no regrets. Joel and I are no longer together, but I’ve had some very good and some very bad experiences with him, and he’s taught me a lot about myself. I think this year I’ve become a more forgiving and tolerant person than I ever have in my life… I’ve grown a lot. And for all that was, I am thankful, and I’m glad it didn’t end ugly and that we’ll still be in touch, and still stay friends.

For friends… this has been a wonderful year. I know it sounds lame but I really do want to, broadcast, for lack of a better word, just how very grateful I am for all of you and everything you’ve done this year. I’ve seen such caring and concern, such selflessness, such honesty from my friends this year and I truly am a very lucky girl. Some of you I’ve only known a year or so, some longer, but I am so incredibly thankful you are in my life. For everything you’ve done for me, just know I would do the same for you in a second.

For family… this year has been a little tumultuous, mostly very good, sad towards the end, but again I couldn’t have got through a lot of things this year had it not been for my parents. As I get older I’m realising all the time that was wasted while I was growing up and living at home, I was such a stubborn, argumentative, defiant child, and now my relationship with my family continues to change into something so different… I’ve become so close with my dad in the last few months, and both my mum and dad have helped me through some of the hardest times this year… and for that I am so thankful.

For everything else… so much amazing music – music means SO much to me, and has helped me a lot also. This year has been a fantastic one for some really great stuff. To have had access to the technology to download all sorts of wonderful TV shows not yet in this country, albums, to listen to BBC radio whenever I want. To have somewhere warm to come home to at the end of the day. There’s a lot of other things I’m grateful for as this year rapidly draws to a close, and I wanted to mark the most important ones down as we bring in 2007. A new year, a new start… and no regrets.

And just one more…

It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish,
And it’s not where you’re from, it’s where you’re at

Everybody gets knocked down,
Everybody gets knocked down,
How quick are you gonna’ get up?
How quick are you gonna’ get up?
Everybody gets knocked down,
Everybody gets knocked down,
How quick are you gonna’ get up?
Just how are you gonna’ get up?

Like Ali in the jungle,
Like Nelson in jail,
Like Simpson on the mountain,
With odds like that, they were bound to fail
Like Keller in the darkness,
Like Adam’s in the dock,
Like Ludwig Van, how I loved that man, well the guy went deaf and didn’t give a fuck, no…

No, no, no

It’s not where you are, iIt’s where you’re going,
Where are you going?
And it’s not about the things you’ve done, it’s what you’re doing now,
What are you doing, now?

Everybody gets knocked down,
Everybody gets knocked down,
How quick are you gonna’ get up?
How quick are you gonna’ get up, now?
Everybody gets knocked down,
Everybody gets knocked down,
How quick are you gonna’ get up?
Just how are you gonna’ get up?

Like Ali in the jungle,
Like Nelson in jail,
Like Simpson on the mountain,
Well with odds like that, they were bound to fail
Like Keller in the darkness,
Like Adam’s in the dock,
Like Ludwig Van, how I loved that man, well the guy went deaf and didn’t give a fuck, no…

My own personal music awards of 2006

BEST ALBUM OF 2006:

1. LostProphets – Liberation Transmission
2. Kasabian – Empire
3. Dirty Pretty Things – From Waterloo to Anywhere
4. Boy Kill Boy – Civilian
5. Muse – Black Holes and Revelations

BEST SINGLE OF 2006:

1. LostProphets – A Town Called Hypocrisy
2. Keane – Is It Any Wonder?
3. Orson – No Tomorrow
4. Kasabian – Shoot the Runner
5. Hope of the States – Sing It Out

BEST NEWCOMER OF 2006:

1. Dirty Pretty Things
2. Boy Kill Boy
3. Hard-Fi
4. Arctic Monkeys
5. The Feeling

BEST VIDEO OF 2006:

1. Kasabian – Shoot the Runner
2. Muse – Knights of Cydonia
3. Emily Haines – Doctor Blind
4. Fear of Flying – Three’s a Crowd
5. Kasabian – Empire

BEST LYRICS OF 2006:

1. “Come ride with me through the veins of history, I’ll show you how god falls asleep on the job” – Muse, “Knights of Cydonia”

2. “Waylay the din of the day, boats bobbing in the blue of the bay, and in the deep far beneath, all the dead sailors slowly slipping to sleep” The Decemberists, “Summersong”

3. I’ve got to go, but what a prize to give, package deal to the sun, everything is inclusive, where bullet holes scar the minarets, smoke on the horizon, a beautiful sunset, Going on my Middle Eastern holiday, give me a gun, I hope I see my mum again” – Hard-Fi, “Middle Eastern Holiday”

4. “It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish, and it’s not where you’re from, it’s where you’re at, Everybody gets knocked down, Everybody gets knocked down, How quick are you gonna’ get up? How quick are you gonna’ get up?

Like Ali in the jungle, Like Nelson in jail, Like Simpson on the mountain, With odds like that, they were bound to fail, Like Keller in the darkness, Like Adams in the dock, Like Ludwig Van, how I loved that man, well the guy went deaf and didn’t give a damn” The Hours, “Ali in the Jungle”

5. “The televison spits and the wives are crying, the adverts tell the truth when the father’s lying, why won’t someone tell me why my government doesn’t hear all the warnings” Hope of the States, “Industry”

ANTHEM OF 2006:

1. LostProphets – Rooftops
2. Jet – Shine On
3. Hope of the States – Industry
4. Faithless – Bombs
5. The Hours – Ali in the Jungle

Almost Christmas

Only 3 more weeks until an entire week off and Christmas; it’s going to go by so quickly, November seems to have just gone in an absolute flash. I need to go Christmas shopping! Yesterday I bought my first very own Christmas tree – it’s about a foot high, lol, it cost me $1.50 and I bought a little mini garland and star to put on it, and it’s sitting proudly on my side table by the TV with little candles around the base! I also strung up some Christmas lights (which I plan to keep all year) around my whole kitchen, which looks really lovely 🙂

This weekend’s going to be fun, I wish I was in LA seeing Shelby’s Cowboy Max show, I’d’ve loved to go so badly! But this Friday I have special tickets to this show and Christmas party at the Empire, so that’ll be nice to dress up (and freeze our arses off, lol) and then Sunday another “hibernating” sort of day in with movies and baking cookies, and possibly Christmas shopping. This week I got given an invitation from the dirtiest old man in the world, apparently he used to be this amazing award-winning photographer and he made me this package of a load of his pictures of models (for Playboy, haha) and an invitation on the front to his “dirty old man” hot tub party, “bathing suits optional, and if we can get a hold of the neighbour’s dog, various kinds of illegal sex!” LOL! Wanted to know if me or any of my girlfriends were interested in a part-time modelling job… no thank you sir! 🙂

On a more serious note I had this old lady come in to work this week asking me to type this letter for her, she was writing to Gary Doer and Stephen Harper and the Minister of Health and all those sorts of people, she has 4 children, 3 of which inherited this awful kidney disease from their father, and the one that didn’t inherit it can’t be a donor because she’s not compatible with her brother or something, and anyway it really got me thinking. There’s HUGE wait lists for organ transplants, and if we can live just fine with one kidney, why don’t more people donate? Just because you’re not dead doesn’t mean you can’t be an organ donor. I’ve been doing a little bit of research on it, and I think that at some point in the future I’m going to do that. I don’t know about the NEAR future – looks like I’d need 3 weeks off work to do it, and I just can’t afford that right now, but maybe in a couple of years. Why not? It’d save someone’s life, and that’s got to be an amazing thing. And the research I looked at said there’s basically no complications after successful surgery, and of like a 2000 person sample, 87% of them didn’t want to have kids after donating and the 13% that did had no complications and were successful in doing so. Of course it’ll take a lot of thinking about, and I’d need to be financially okay enough to take that sort of time off (it was different when I was living with Dan and I had my appendix out; rent was way less and I wasn’t in debt as much as I am now). But I think if I can do something to save a life, it’s something I’d really like to do one day.

Psycho Killer Leaves Resume

So this has been a pretty good week, all in all. After Saturday night I spent Sunday recovering and hanging out with my dad, we went shopping for my mum’s birthday presents and we were going to see Saw III but just competely ran out of time. It was really nice to spend a whole day with my dad, I do love him to bits.

Monday, I had to take Rose to the Humane Society. And I discovered I really DO have the best friends in the entire world. Everyone knows how much fell from the sky that day, and how as a result, everyone forgot how to drive. Ryan came to pick me up from work, go get Rose, and then drive us TWO AND A HALF HOURS to the Humane Society. Seriously, never seen traffic so slow in my life. We could’ve left Manitoba in that time. We were supposed to get her thre by 6:45 but luckily the (rather bitchy) vet was still there at 7:30, made it very clear that she was just leaving, but still took her in. And the next day he went BY HIMSELF after he finished work to pick her up to avoid any delays by picking me up first. What a COMPLETE sweetheart! And Rose is all sore and sleepy and I feel so bad for her… but Chloe is happy she’s back 🙂

Tuesday was Actual Halloween, and it felt so weird because after Halloween weekend it was just strange that it hadn’t actually come yet, but I spent the evening meeting a new friend off of Myspace who I’d been corresponding with for the last few weeks. We both freak out at scary movies so we made spaghetti and watched a “diet” scary movie, Gothika, which was still good. Exchanged mix CDs (which were great!!) and chatted for a bit, it was a good night.

YESTERDAY my Psycho Stalker came back. I was in the middle of laminating something when I heard someone come in the front, and he just left this package on the counter and left. I opened it up… it was made of paper and said “To Miss Emily Wood… Resume Enclosed” on the front, and it contained a picture of him, with a message on the back, and three pieces of notepaper, each saying the same thing on the front and he’d written backwards on the back of each of them so I had to hold them up to a mirror to read them. WHACKO. Anyway, at least this time it’s legible, but sadly that doesn’t mean intelligible!!

Disappointment

This is not even directly related to me.

But how can people be so SELFISH, to throw away absolutely everything they ever had, to lie to EVERYONE they know, and ruin other people’s lives in the process. They destroy people who’ve done absolutely nothing wrong; good, honest, wonderful people, and for what? I’m disgusted and appalled by the human race sometimes. Seeing how hurtful people can be, so deceptive, manipulative and dishonest, all for the sake of their own selfish desires. What happened to integrity and honesty? When did people stop living their lives with honour and keeping their promises? Just an observation on the world, not even related to this, but it seems that nowadays, people are more concerned with getting a good fuck than anything else. Friendships, relationships, promises and plans all discarded for the sake of getting laid. When did the physical become so much more important than the emotional? It’s a sad state this world is in; the corruption, the hate, the greed, the way the common mentality is just deteriorating. I hate people sometimes. I know there are good people in the world, and I’m so lucky to have some of them in my life. It’s just hard seeing the people you thought had some sort of decency do something so awful.

Remember, remember, the fifth of November

Tonight, boys and girls, is Bonfire Night!! And I’m excited that although I don’t have a fireworks display,  I do have 12 sparklers, hot chocolate, and a makeshift “bonfire” thanks to the magic of a little paper Guy Fawkes and a box of matches. Which makes me a very happy girl, because Bonfire Night was always one of my favourite times of year!

Today I just got back from doing the Nygard fashion show, which was great fun – I got my hair and makeup done at Essentique this morning which looked very cool. I had a lunch at the show and went out in 3 different outfits amongst all these tables. Mad rushes backstage to get changed quickly, but they were all lovely people, and I did get 2 tickets to a big show at the Symphony for December!

Now off to watch the new X Factor, and hope that Rose hasn’t taken a crap in my bed again, lol. Ever since she got back from her surgery she’s been thrownig up and crapping anywhere but the litter box, I guess in revenge?! Anyone have any light to shed on this? Anyway, I’ve a fun night ahead and I wish everyone a happy Guy Fawkes Day!

Dress to remove clothing!

So there’s this total weirdo I’ve been lucky enough to have coming in to visit me at work for the last couple of weeks. First, he comes in looking like he’s been in a coma for 6 months and hasn’t got around to shaving yet, asking if we can help him get a job and type up some proposal about getting energy from the algae in ponds, and going off to Cirque du Soleil, and how the French find him too weird but the English don’t, and… yeah. I think that paints enough of a picture. I told him we don’t do that kind of writing service… but to maybe try the Yellow Pages.

He comes back a couple of weeks later (clean shaven), asking if we can do up his resume. I was happy to finally hear a normal request – because that’s what we do – so I said yes, we could definitely help him with that. I told him he had to make an appointment and either leave a deposit or a credit card number. He said he wouldn’t be getting any money for 2 weeks, so he took my business card, and said he’d come back.

Which he did. Today. He came in this morning, panting heavily and wet from the rain, saying “might seem a little weird to just drop by… but I wanted to say hi.” Then he left.

That was a little weird.

Then he comes back this afternoon and leaves me an automatic pencil with business cards attached to it. He says “it’s a present for you, I’ll let you read what’s inside… and leave it at that, I’m kind of on your territory here…” and left.

I opened the first of his series of notes. On the back of one business card was written “recognized me right away even though I graduated in 1988, been about that long too.”

On the back of another business card it said “Reference: Known 20 years can vouch I’m no druggie, but my sister is and I’ve been trying to help her for years. Nuff said. Manchester men suck. Opinionated, right no matter what. While I am accustomed to pussy encounters I’m really interested in your cat…”

And on the back of MY business card, which I’d given him earlier, it said: “DINNER, 9-o-clock sharp. Dress to remove clothing, or we skip dinner and move directly to removing. (Phone #) – Bill, or William if you will.”

…!

Upset with the world

So my computer genius brother came and took my hard drive out so he could go inspect it and try and de-virus it for me, and it turned out I had 14 viruses and 70 spyware… yikes; I pick it up from him later tonight (just at work right now) so hopefully all is cleaned off!

Last night we went to Folklorama, the Caribbean and the Irish pavilions, they were both REALLY good – I usually go to the Irish one every year but I missed it last year and I was pleasantly surprised to see the massive UPGRADE – they’d moved it (I guess it got too popular for the Irish Association!) and had all these big light shows and dancers and this one amazing woman who played the fiddle, pennywhistles, danced and sang – she was brilliant.

Recently I’ve been kind of upset about the state of things. I found on a Doctor Who community a member who’d found this forum full of racists who were just going on and on for pages about how they’ve been long time fans but Doctor Who has always been a white male and they couldn’t believe his assistant first had a black “nigger” boyfriend, “there’s no way I’m watching nigger kissing on British TV” and how they were all outraged they had to “tolerate multiculturalism” and refused to watch the new series because the new companion is black. I couldn’t believe that people like that still existed… I was just shocked. I feel so lucky to live in a country where people actually celebrate multiculturalism.

And then today on the radio I heard about this, I can’t BELIEVE it:

Woman jailed for giving son drugs

Emma Kelly was a promising jockey until her descent into drug abuse
A drug addict mother has been jailed for nine years for supplying heroin and crack cocaine to her son from the age of nine.
Emma Kelly, 31, formerly of Eastbourne, in East Sussex, admitted the offences, which could have killed the child, at a hearing at Hove Crown Court last month.

Kelly admitted supplying the drugs between August 2002 and May 2005.

She also admitted two counts of cruelty to a child between August 2003 and January 2005.

Judge Anthony Niblett told her she had betrayed her son.

You offered no explanation or excuse for it, and there can be none

Judge Anthony Niblett

He said: “On 5 May 2005 you went to his school and you supplied him there with a wrap of heroin. This was, in my assessment, an act of pure wickedness.

“You offered no explanation or excuse for it, and there can be none.”

Kelly was sentenced to nine years in total for supplying her son with class A drugs, including five years to be served concurrently for child cruelty.

This includes two six-year sentences to be served concurrently for supplying him with heroin and crack cocaine, and a consecutive sentence of three years for giving him heroin when he was in foster care.

Emma Kelly was addicted to class A substances

The court was told Kelly had plied her son with opiates from the age of nine, until he was 11.

She had driven him around as she toured Sussex and London in search of drugs.

Ibitayo Adebayo, prosecuting, said Kelly and her son were arrested in January 2005 on suspicion of shoplifting and taken to Eastbourne police station.

The police contacted a drug referral worker who saw the boy, and noted that the pupils of his eyes were very large, suggesting he was going through a withdrawal from drugs.

Judge Niblett said the boy was able to tell police that he rarely went to school.

He did have a bond with his mum, but that was borne out of his addiction

Det Sgt Wendy Fuller

The boy spent a week in hospital withdrawing from his opiate addiction.

Outside the court, Det Sgt Wendy Fuller of Sussex Police described how the boy was “rocking in his hospital bed, very agitated, crying for his mum” when he was experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

“He did have a bond with his mum, but that was borne out of his addiction,” she said.

The boy, now aged 12, is in foster care and is said to be thriving and back at school.

Rebecca Upton, defending, said Kelly’s descent into drug abuse was triggered by the death of her partner in 1996.

‘Truly disgusted’

Before then she had a promising career as a jockey and also worked regularly before developing a dependence on drugs.

Ms Upton said Kelly felt “truly disgusted” at her actions and expressed her “utmost and sincerest remorse”.

The role of East Sussex Social Services was questioned by Judge Niblett, who said that if it had not been for the arrest, social services might not have intervened.

This was despite a social services case conference about the boy being held in 2004, he said.

The social worker connected to the case was changed “and the situation was allowed to continue”.

He said that a social services representative had not attended the court to answer concerns, but added he was pleased that he would receive a report within 14 days.

After the case Sussex Police Child Protection Team (CPT) at Eastbourne said the boy could have died every time he was supplied with the drugs.

‘Lessons learnt’

In a statement, Matt Dunkley, director of children’s services for East Sussex County Council, said: “Our service has the highest possible rating for child protection and naturally our primary concern is for the safety and welfare of the child.

“The child concerned is still in our care and we are delighted that he is thriving and doing well.”

The statement added that all major decisions to protect the child prior to him being taken into care were taken jointly with all the agencies involved, including the police.

“Together with partners in other agencies, we will learn from any of the lessons that arise from this case.”

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD??

New kitty time!!

I was supposed to go to the Humane Society today with Trista to get our kittens fixed, but because the bank’s put a hold on my account until Tuesday I couldn’t go. But then I found out that this weekend was the last day of their “blowout” – they’ve got way too many animals and they need to give them homes or they’re going to euthanise them. Which just makes me so upset – I posted about this a little while ago, but I love them so much I can’t bear to think of them being killed. I hate how people can be so cruel – not to not take them home, but to do the things that get them there in the first place. I remember parents had 2 cats when I was younger, and one of them (Otis) was one of like 4 or 5 cats tied up in a bag and left on a bridge to be thrown into the water. All the rest found homes and nobody wanted poor Smudge but my mum took him in and he was such a wonderful cat – it’s so awful the way people treat animals. How can they be so heartless??

Anyway so I found out this weekend was the last weekend to help rescue these cats cheaply and so I called my mum up, asked her if I could borrow some money and a lift down there to rescue a cat and said yes! We got down there too late to actually be able to take one home today, but I found the most amazing girl cat. Her name now is “Sally” but I think I’ll change it as it was only given to her by the HS and she’s only been there a month so she won’t’ve grown used to it yet. She’s beeeautiful – pure white from head to toe, and the most amazing emerald green eyes. She curled right up in my lap, gave me kisses and purrs and didn’t want to get off!! So I put the deposit on her and if we go back tomorrow at noon, I should be able to bring her home!

I’m so happy, one more cat saved, and a sister for Rose!

Now onto naming again…  this is the hardest part!

Praise. (Blush)

I just received the most amazing email from a dear friend. I’m doing some design work for him and last night I sent him a rough idea of what I wanted to do, and today I got this back:

I’m going to start off this letter by assuring you that I will not coddle you artistically or exaggerate my praise to you.

You are incredible. I am really, really impressed. I can’t believe you created that in one day. I LOVE IT! I’m just blown away. I want to show it to everyone. I love the fonts the colors, the style, the layout… You are an artist and a very talented one. I would have no idea of where to start to do what you did so naturally.

I’ll get you some higher res pictures and make a couple small changes and we already have a winner. You should be doing this for big companies and lots of money. Just by showing this off I bet I’m going to get you work.

It seems like this would be a good intro sheet. I could use it as a poster, a postcard, or the first sheet in a packet (that includes a DVD promo, letters of recommendation, etc. )

In short, I feel so lucky that you are helping me on this. Thank you for sharing your talent with me.

This is going to be the best project ever!! 😀

Reflections

Finally, a real update.

The fringe is officially over, and along with it my favourite part of the year. I think this time of year even surpasses Halloween in terms of being so enjoyable. Not just because of the amazing amount of talent and creativity that springs up in the span of 2 weeks, the support, the ideas, and so many wonderful performances, but because I get to see some of the most incredible people from all over the world. It is far too short a period of time and was over far too quickly. But I had such a lovely time. I saw loads of plays, explored the Exchange, and spent some wonderful times with wonderful people. We had great meals, crazy bowling, and one night, Jenn, Shelby, Raven and myself had a Ghost Story night where Shelby read to us from this book that must have been over a hundred years old. We all had a “tell one thing you’ve never told anyone else” thing going on in a circle for a while too, where I learned lots of interesting things about my friends!

I got presents too! CD exchanges are always so much fun to do; I love sharing music with people who are just as passionate about it as I am, and I got two amazing new CDs from Shelby. He also got the HUGE artist’s rendition of Mr. Slurch (my all time favourite character from any play, ever) who made a surprise appearance at a late night caberet-type show, got permission to take it down and give it to me as a gift. I took it to work to laminate today (to protect it) and it’s going right up on my wall.

Monday was the last night before they left for LA, which was sad… but it was spent in such a lovely way. Me, Joel, Jenn and Shelby went to Ivory on Portage, ate too much good food and spent hours just sitting there talking (and taking some really good pictures, which I’ll post when I get home). I am so lucky to have been blessed with the friendship of such truly amazing people. I’m happy that everything has been patched up too, and it doesn’t seem like there’s any more hard feelings between anyone.

Recently I’ve learned that life is too short to spend harbouring negative feelings and prolonging arguments and grudges. Whenever anything bad happens, and I’m angry or annoyed with someone, now I try to think “what would I do if this was the last time I got to see this person?” Usually it makes me far sadder to think of that and forces the realization that life really is too short to spend being mad at people. And I have my love and my wonderful friends to thank for making me realise that.

I cried when I said goodbye. Why is it that such amazing friends have to live so far away?

Sorry for the long post. Just feeling a little reflective, insightful and thankful for everything.

Looking for kindness

I am such a girl at times but this is making me really sad.

This week the Humane Society is advertising cats and kittens, with all their ops and shots and everything for $25 because they have something like 500 cats and 100 dogs, and if they don’t find homes for all these cats they put them to sleep.

And I can’t bear to think of poor kittens being killed just because they don’t have homes. I really want to get a second cat to play with Rose – Rose is left by herself all day for like 9 or 10 hours every day, and I bet she’d love someone to play with. And it would save a kitten. Rose is quiet; and cats are allowed – well, “tolerated” – I’ve seen maybe 3 in the building, and I’m only here for another 3 months. I just think it’d be hard to find another apartment with TWO cats… I just feel so awful about the poor cats that don’t get homes… so if anyone wants to help, the Humane Society is only doing this for this week so please go, I’ll feel better if even one kitten gets the home that I can’t give.

New beginnings

So on Tuesday I quit Best Buy and got my soul back. Huzzah! The bitchy manager who was giving me shit in the first place just took my resignation letter and smiled and said “okay! thanks!” Unfortunately the general manager was in Calgary so I didn’t get to give it to him in person. I gave no two weeks (so no vacation pay :() but this place wanted me to start right away, and I wanted to leave Best Buy right away, so that worked out nicely. I did myself a favour and took 2 days off in between and I had my first day today at the new place.

Okay. This is brilliant.

1. NO STUPID UNIFORM. On my way home dressed in my heels and black trousers and glasses I felt so much more respectable than before, trying to hide my stupid ugly flat black shoes, beige ankle-swingers and bright blue best buy shirt. So that’s good.

2. I work across from a Tim Horton’s. AND I’M ALLOWED TO TAKE WALKS.

3. I get my own desk, my own business card, and I’m taking over for the OFFICE MANAGER. Holy crap.

4. My boss said I won’t need to spend $10,000 at Red River because I’m going to BECOME a graphic designer there and get all the experience I need.

5. I didn’t wake up at five this morning!

Off to Edmonton!

I made it! I over supplied myself for the 22 HOUR BUS RIDE – which actually wasn’t even half as bad as I thought it was going to be. My entire carry-on bag was packed with every cd I own, Harry Potter, a pillow, and my journal. And some granola bars. All I needed was the music, really… I had an amazing pair of headphones that were kindly lent to me, and they played movies too, so it was over pretty quickly. I must say I think that’s the most independent thing I’ve ever done. It was really neat, stopping in all these little cities I’ve never been to, and exploring around on my own all the way here. I got some writing done, and I’ve also decided that Kate Bush is one of the most incredible artists in music history.

I got here Saturday morning at about 5am, and spent the next day at the Fringe site meeting people and seeing shows, and enjoying the last of the creative spirit, and indeed the sun. Saw some great outdoor shows; Andy Zap was hilarious! Met up with all the cool sound techs from last year (Mike the Nightwish Tech was back!), saw “Timmy’s Sexual Adventures” with Jimbo, and then headed off to Calgary, where I write from now. I LIKE Calgary. I hear so many people putting it down, but I prefer it to Edmonton completely. We got in close to midnight and drove around downtown for a bit, and it was BEAUTIFUL! I find cityscapes amazing, having never really lived in a big city, and it’s so full of great architecture and a cool atmosphere as you go through the city streets. Today we spent meandering around downtown, having amazing gelati, and taking pictures of cool buildings. Tonight I’m going to relax a bit as the boys spend one last night together playing poker, and then tomorrow we’re headed off to Banff or Canmore. It’s supposed to be beautiful… I’m quite excited about that.

The drive home should be about fifteen hours or so, but I’ve got lots of great music thanks to all my friends and family who burnt cds for my trip. I’ll be back either wednesday night or thursday morning, and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone again. 🙂

Jason Webley

A couple of nights ago, Alex and I went to go see the acclaimed Jason Webley at the King’s Head. I’ve heard a CD of his, and stories of leading crowds with a giant carrot (which I was glad to see made an appearance) to his shows, and performances under bridges at midnight… I had to go. The saddest thing was that both Alex and I had to work very early this morning, so we didn’t get to stay the entire show because a Very Sweaty Man was opening for him, and took an hour to secrete half his body weight in perspiration through song. Not bad song, but that wasn’t the memorable part. But then, after a short break, Jason stepped up, after having taken me down through the pitch black fire exit, earlier, to see the “tomato” he drives around. It was pretty… tomatoey!

All I can say is what an incredible performer! He had a mic on the ground to catch the enormously energetic foot stomping used as percussion, an accordion, and a “sandpaper baritone” voice which sounded far more aged than his youthful face would lead you to believe. I’ve never seen anything like it. Crowd participation was almost voluntary, and I was lucky enough to see some songs performed I’d never heard, as well as “Icarus”, which is such a clever piece of art itself. Some of his songs sound almost Russian in style; Eastern European at the very least, mixed with an infectious drinking-song-style of performance that just leaves you in awe to watch. I wish I could find the lyrics to some of his songs, they’re so intelligent and artistic, I was just amazed. Wow. I wish he came here more often.

Today was a good day at work. But with a bit of a shock:

Rob: “I just got back from New York”
Me: “Oh yeah, my friend was just in New York last week too. She went to see a lot of shows down there”
Rob: “Oh god. I had this $90 ticket to see this broadway show, some musical…”
Me: “WHICH ONE?”
Rob: “Ohh… Rent. Oh god, I left halfway through. They were just singing EVERYTHING. Like when they’re on the phone. “Hello… I am on the phone now…””
Me: [Jaw drops in horror]
Rob: “It was like, someone PLEASE throw a pie. I even booed during the “moo” part”.

I can’t believe Jenn missed out on tickets to that guy. *Laugh* Anyway, so I’m really enjoying work now. For the first time in my entire life, I really like my job. I know I was whining before, and I do hate customers like that. But customers will always be like that, and they’re the same regardless of where you work. But I’m having such a good time at this place. My co-workers are rapidly becoming friends I hang out with, and we have such a good environment. Everyone’s around the same age, and only COOL people work at Best Buy right!

Pastime in good companye

Time for an update, as things have been really… new, lately. Strange word to use, but pretty much the only applicable one in this case, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. As I mentioned before, the Sound and Fury boys are in town (and as I also mentioned, GO SEE CLEOPATRICK AT THE FRINGE), meaning that Shelby and Richard are here staying with me for a week or two. Daniel is out of town, and I seem to be doing just fine. I am so grateful for the company here; living with people while Dan is away is generally a good thing, but living with these lads is… a gift, it really is.

Last night was wonderful. I got to go backstage for their first play of the fringe, and read (and laugh) along with the script as I got ready for rapid costume changes. I can’t wait to actually SEE the play now! Afterwards, spent the evening watching Spider-Man 2 (I’d forgotten just how BEAUTIFUL that movie was!) with Shelby and tea, which was just lovely.

This morning I was taken out to lunch before work, which was unexpected and completely unnecessary!! It was excellent food though, excellent company and made me feel much better. I want to say that right now I feel very lucky to have met these people, and luckier still to call them my friends. It’s unlikely they’ll ever read this, but I feel very grateful and wanted to note it down.

Nightmare

So, last night I not only had a dream that I remembered in the morning, but I had a dream that was so real and so disturbing I was in tears when I woke up. I haven’t experienced that in a LONG TIME, and it was very bizarre to go through that rapid loss of sense of the reality of it all as I regained proper consciousness. I wish I’d written it down this morning, it would have been much more detailed I’m sure. All I remember is it being night, and I was going for an interview at some posh hotel, and it was raining outside, and there were three of us, myself included, going for the position. All of us were dressed very smartly, in black, and then I found out the position was for a beer vendor. And I decided to run away into the storm instead. I don’t remember what happened next, but the most memorable part of my dream was the latter part. I’m not sure of the tie between the two, or if they really were two separate dreams, minutes or hours apart, but the second was horribly disturbing. I somehow came to the decision that I had to die, I had to give myself up for something, and I’d have to a) have my throat cut so I’d suffocate more quickly, and b) have my heart taken out. Not through surgery or anything, just… taken out… I’m not sure how. And my mum had to be the one to do it, I remember that. And I remember there was a time on it, a countdown of sorts, and I was trying to convince my family (and Sajah, my parents’ dog) that I had to do this… and I was going to be laying down on some sort of limestone, open rock type… coffin, almost, when it was being done. I remember getting into it and thinking that I’d spend my last few minutes writing letters. I had to write three, one to my grandma in England, one to my mum and dad saying I loved them and I was sorry, and one to Daniel, because he couldn’t be there. I remember telling him I was going to do it, but he couldn’t be there on the day because he was away doing shows somewhere. And as the lid closed on me and I was about to go through with it, I stopped it all. I couldn’t do it. I had a strong sense of HAVING to go through with it, but panicking and feeling that it was wrong, and running out of time. I said I couldn’t go through with it without saying goodbye to people; I couldn’t leave Dan knowing he’d be away travelling and knowing I’d be dying, and he was out there doing shows. And so I didn’t go through with it; and I remember Sajah being angry at me for not doing it. And then I woke up, crying.

Back in Winnipeg!

Hello hello!

Didn’t think I’d be back so soon, but cancel all indications to write to me in Ontario this summer, because I’ll be back in Winnipeg where I belong. I’ll be seeing Sean Manson, spending birthdays with people, going to Edmonton, being by Dan’s side another Canada Day, and being generally happy. I came to realise what really mattered while I was away, and yes, it comes down to me being a big suck. I couldn’t stand to be completely isolated with no form of communication for five months. The phone didn’t work, there was no internet, no bus service or transportation of any kind… it was insane. The bugs were bigger and more copious than I’d ever imagined, and everyone around me was a drunk or a pothead. Well, not everyone. But there was nothing to DO out there – so people just got high or wasted and spent nights passed out in front of bonfires. NOT my sort of people – and I didn’t want to become isolated by not joining in in that crap.

The work wasn’t bad though. I had the best boss ever, the funniest false gay Jehovah’s witness chef ever, and some really nice girls in my dorm who made me a lovely goodbye card. Some are from Winnipeg, so we’ll hang out in October.

I missed all my friends, and the thought of missing out on a whole summer with all of you just killed me. I was miserable every day I was there, and it just wasn’t me. So I’m back! Happiness really is more important than money, and I don’t care that I spent a lot to get out there, I’m just happy to be back in Winnipeg.

And speaking of Winnipeg, I got home to find our neighbours digging a hole in the front garden, after having passed a lifesize wooden cross in my garage. We went to investigate… and found a turkey as well.