July, July

It’s that time of year again. I’ve found myself blogging less and less over the years, which is a shame because it’s always interesting to go back and read what I was up to a year or two ago, but without fail I always find myself writing during the Fringe Festival. This is definitely the time of year I find myself happiest, and it always passes by far too quickly. Dear friends fly into town, the beautiful Exchange District is filled with life, colour, and crowds that appreciate the arts, and I’m just surrounded by creativity, talent, and wonderful people. The rest of the year seems so dark and desolate in comparison; Old Market Square is deserted and there’s that underlying hesitance to even visit the Exchange. But for these two glorious weeks in July we’re treated to hundreds of productions from noon ‘til night every day; local vendors sell pretty trinkets to take home, and pubs and coffee houses thrive with dedicated theatre-goers.

I’m sitting here, at this moment in time, thinking how lucky I’ve been this year. Fringe season, without fail, has a knack for making me count my blessings, and this year I’ve had a lot of them. Sure there’s been quite a bit of crap too, but why remember 2008 for that? I’ve got a beautiful new apartment; I’ve been home to England; I’ve visited Ireland and seen something I never dreamed I’d see in person; I’ve caught up with old friends and family; and right now, all my absolute favourite people are here in Winnipeg. I saw a greeting card while I was in the UK that had the words “wherever you are, it’s your friends who make your world”, or something to that effect, on the front, and it’s so true. This past week I’ve been able to see people I may only see once a year, but these are some of the people I love most in the world. And being able to share in such an amazing festival every single day is just quite possibly the most wonderful thing ever.

I’ve seen about 6 plays since last week; I saw the boys twice and I’m so happy they’re doing so well. It’s a wonderful show and Winnipeg loves them and they deserve such love and success. If you see one thing at the Fringe this year, please go and see Sherlock Holmes and the Saline Solution over at the Gas Station. I also saw Scratch – I don’t normally tend to go to improv shows, but it was highly recommended, and I wish there were more hours in the day because I’d go again in a heartbeat! Probably the best improv I’ve ever seen – they took three suggestions at the beginning of the show and somehow, through flipping characters throughout the show, created three elaborate stories that all converged amazingly in this montage, tied up loose ends and had me laughing the whole time. Very impressive indeed. Last night saw Chris Gibbs, a wonderful storyteller and the ever awe-inspiring (and ever perspiring) Jem Rolls, who just opens your mind and mesmerizes an audience with his incredible performance poetry. In a world where praise is given to highlights and boob jobs over natural beauty, trashy gossip magazines are read over a good book, and a night out is dressing in skimpy clothing, getting drunk and dancing with strangers while a club plays soulless records made exclusively for money; the Fringe festival restores my faith in people at large. I’m so glad the theatre is still so very much alive, and there are still so many people who have such an appreciation for the arts.

Throngs flock to venues hours ahead of showtimes to get a ticket to see an hour-long performance, a lot of the time going on word of mouth with no knowledge of what they’re about to see. Performers spend months preparing a show, from an initial idea to a full-on production, and the variety is enormous. Storytellers, dramatists, comedians, singers and dancers all materialize and the city is treated to two magnificent weeks of culture and the creative spirit. One day I’d love to go over to the Edinburgh Fringe in Scotland – almost a month of shows, selling 1.6 MILLION tickets. I hope the boys do well there next month, and just maybe I might be able to go next year. Fingers crossed!

Creepy phone guy

A few days ago I got a random text on my phone saying “How was ur day”. I didn’t recognise the number, but I’ve not long had my phone and definitely don’t have everyone’s numbers, to I wrote back just asking who it was. I got “dc”, followed by “dave. who is this”. I don’t know a Dave C so I ignored it. The next morning, I got another message. “How r u” from the same number. I ignored it again, and then, once again when I got home from work, “how was ur day.” Then the phone calls started – the number appears as Restricted when this person calls me but I can see it when he texts me. I answered – some of my friends show up as restricted when they call, so I wasn’t really thinking too much of it, when the person on the other end said they’d had a text from my number and wanted to know who this was. I asked who I was talking to; he said “Dave, who’s this?” I said “Emily” and said I thought he had the wrong number. He sounded totally creepy and asked me if I’d like to talk anyway; I said no I was busy, and he asked how old I was. At this point I hung up; this was also 11:00 at night and I was going to bed! Then, this morning, at about ten to seven (before my alarm had even gone off) another text woke me up, saying “how r u” from this same guy. I just wrote back asking him to stop calling and texting me, but it’s really starting to bother me. Does anyone know if there’s a way you can block a certain number from contacting your phone?

UK / Ireland Trip

So I thought about writing a “summary” when I was on the plane home from my UK trip, didn’t have a pen or a laptop, so it’s coming a bit late. I’ve been back 4 days now and I’m in a bit of a post-Europe-blues phase – my trip was all too short and I can’t believe it’s over already. I’ve already started a weekly savings transfer thing so by this time next year, I’ll have enough to be able to go back, and possibly stay longer in Dublin and see some kind of awesome music festival too.

I got there to find Sophie waiting for me at the airport with a fun little sign she’d made me, and we went through London, stopped for an amazing baguette lunch (seriously, baguettes full of chicken curry are the way forward!) and Ribena, had a quick detour to the Arsenal stadium and then on to Stevenage finally. I was knackered but it did take me 4 or 5 days to get used to the time difference!

My first Saturday there was spent in London with 3 of my favourite people in the entire world. Met up with Sophie, Jayde and James and we started off trying to be all intellectual and cultured by going to the Victoria & Albert, but shortly decided we needed something far more juvenile and headed for the Science Museum instead, where we played interactive toilet-catching games and went on the Spongebob Squarepants simulator ride, which was brilliant!! Then we took the tube to “lunch” – which ended up being a surprise trip to the Doctor Who Exhibition at Earl’s Court, which I had no idea even existed. Best surprise EVER!! I love my friends!! Took tonnes of pictures, spent far too much money and then had a happy pub lunch afternoon in Covent Garden. Wrapped up the day with a posh night out in the West End seeing Wicked the musical, which was just phenomenal. I got home that night at about midnight and I just cried – partly because I was sad I didn’t get to see these wonderful people again for goodness knows how long, but mostly because I was just so happy to have spent an amazing day with people I love.

Monday I headed to Dublin – and unfortunately got a right cold that morning, so wasn’t exactly feeling great, but I got to the airport early (I was all paranoid I’d miss the bus and then miss my plane) only to find my flight had been delayed a bazillion hours, so I ended up spending the whole day in the Departures Lounge, which made for very fun times indeed. Missed out on an ENTIRE afternoon in Dublin, but eventually got there and David was still waiting for me, thank goodness!! So we checked into our hotel and hopped on the Ghost Bus Tour which was totally cheesy but tonnes of fun, and really interesting to learn about all the haunted places and creepy stories from medieval Dublin. I was definitely being hit hard with the man flu by the end of the night, and it turned out to be a bank holiday so there wasn’t anywhere open past 11, which was slightly rubbish – I’d been looking forward to a drink and some Celtic music in a proper Irish pub! But we settled for fish & chips at some random shop and just stayed in catching up ‘til about 3:00 in the morning which was lovely all in itself. The next day was a WHIRLWIND of touring and sightseeing. There was a 23-stop tour bus but we only made about 5 or 6 of the stops – I think even if we did have more than a day there, we still wouldn’t have been able to see it all! I really wish we could have had just one more day though – there were so many beautiful, beautiful buildings and just so much history to take in. I was completely awestruck when we went to Trinity College, where the Book of Kells is currently kept. Ireland has been my number one place I want to go for the longest time, and the Book of Kells is one of those “I have to see this before I die” things that you always have on these lists but never expect you’ll actually get to see. But there it was, and I just got so overwhelmed that I just started crying (again!). I can’t describe how it was to be in the presence of something so historically epic and beautiful. I fell in love with Trinity College and I’ve seriously been thinking if I do go back to school, eventually, that’s definitely where I’m going to go. The rest of the day was spent with lots of other sightseeing, including the Guinness Storehouse – we toured the brewery, learned all about Guinness and got to enjoy a free pint at the top of the plant, overlooking the entire city, which was beautiful. The flight back to England came way too quickly and I headed back to rainy old Stevenage from a beautiful day in Ireland, exhausted but happy to have spent it in such wonderful company and full of knowledge about the city. Did I mention I fell in love with Dublin??

The rest of my trip in the UK I spent visiting people, shopping, and got together with a bunch of old school friends on Thursday night at the pub. It’s ridiculous that it’s been 8 years since I’ve seen some of these people, but amazing that it’s been that long and people like Sophie I still talk to on a daily basis despite being halfway round the world. I saw a little notecard out there, with “No matter where you are, it’s your friends who make your world” written on it, and definitely took it to heart.

My last night was spent back in London, playing Wii fitness and with a proper Indian meal, before flying back the next day. I was so nervous before I left about travelling alone, but I did it all and I came back unscathed and I just thought to myself on the plane, this was another one of my new year’s resolutions from this year that I’ve actually kept. I never keep resolutions but so far I’ve learned to cook properly, I’ve got healthy and started going to the gym, I got contact lenses, I’ve been reading way more, and I’ve done something really independent. That was my biggest one – becoming really independent and being happy to do it; and I was really happy that I’d gone to Europe by myself and seen all these amazing sights and had all these amazing times. An 8 hour flight is a long time to reflect and the last 6 months have been ones of enormous growth and change and I really feel quite proud about that. I had an amazing time with some truly wonderful people on this trip and I learned so much about Ireland too. It’s sad to think that so many people in the UK itself actually don’t like living there, although I suppose I was guilty of the same thing when I did live there. I guess sometimes you only truly appreciate a place when it’s not so immediate to you any more. I definitely had a phenomenal trip, and I can’t wait to go back next year.

Happy start to the morning

I woke up to this email from my dad:

Hi Em

If you go out with Emily Wood today
You’re sure of a big surprise
If you go out with Emily Wood today
You’d better go in disguise

For every Dad that ever there was
Will gather at the airport, because
Today’s the day that Emily goes to En-gland

The BIG day! I’ll be round at 5:30 to pick you up.

Have a lovely day,

Love
Dadxx

🙂

The bad news: time flies. The good news: you’re the pilot.

I just watched the perfect movie. Cashback was something I’d downloaded on a whim a few months back, and finally got around to watching tonight after a couple of failed episodes of The Mighty Boosh, and it left me wishing I’d written the entire thing down, just so I could take a piece of beautiful dialogue with me, or taken screen shots of the entire movie to hang on my walls, to remind myself that beauty can be found in the most modest and unassuming places.

It’s filmed mostly in the stark, fluorescent simplicity of a supermarket in the middle of winter in England; hardly the most picturesque of settings, yet the cinematography is so fluid, effortlessly seaming from one location to another. Watch solely for the astounding effect of Ben going from standing in a doorway to lying in his bed, without appearing to move at all. Oh, and Ben has the ability to stop time and examine the world around him – one standout scene, ironically the most graphic and likely to turn me off, was probably one of the most beautiful and strikingly memorable:

“I read once about a woman whose secret fantasy was to have an affair with an artist. She thought he would really see her. He would see every curve, every line, every indentation, and love them all because they were part of the beauty that made her unique.”

This definitely made me want to meet an artist of my own 🙂

I can’t get over the beauty of this film. Its starting point revolves around something we’ve all experienced: insomnia, break-ups, dead-end jobs entirely devoid of significance. I adore how these commonplace nothings are used to explore something personal; internal monologues, a mind’s inability to remain at rest, and living in frozen seconds to explore the beauty of everyday life. I could watch this time and time again and never tire of the magical blend of fantasy, art, amazing photography and heartfelt emotion tied into an everyday life we can all relate to.

“Once upon a time, I wanted to know what love was. Love is there if you want it to be. You just have to see that it’s wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. If you don’t stop for a minute, you might miss it.”

Huge recommendation.

A vicious cycle!

So as you all know I had a silly little accident not too long ago which has resulted in a lot of missed work and grandma-like manoeuvres. I’ve had to come in to work this week because I can’t afford to take any more time off. I looked into E. I. only to find there’s a minimum wait time of a month before you can even see the remote possibility of assistance on the horizon, plus you have to send in all sorts of paperwork proving you’ve lost 40% or more of your income. I’ll be back to normal in a month (I hope)! What good is it going to do me then? Oh, but the good news is, as I found out yesterday, my Blue Cross application was successfully reviewed and I’ll be able to start using the benefit system on September 1. Sorry, did that say September 1? Honestly? Yes? Okay, sounds GREAT, because I’m sure all this can wait six months.

But it may very well have to do just that at the rate things are going. Onto my point. As of right now, I’ve been to a physiotherapist, who’s strongly suggested further medical tests (MRI/CT scans etc.) before commencing any kind of treatment, and to see my GP as well. There’s a 4 WEEK wait list to get into my doctor. Which brings me onto the bottom line of a ridiculous situation. In the past, I’ve been on prescriptions that are simple, recurring, and need to be refilled every month. Simply calling the pharmacist and ordering a refill is usually the way to go, but after 6 months or so, they have to call your GP to see if it’s okay to keep refilling. I guess something changed, because now a phone call isn’t good enough – you have to GO AND SEE THE GP IN PERSON so he can write you another note for the exact same thing you’ve been doing for the last year. Why does it take so long to get in to see doctors in this city? Because they’re so bloody busy making people come all the way down to write them repeat prescriptions for things they could easily do over the phone!

I don’t understand the system. I really don’t. Blue Cross – if my application’s been successful and I’ve willingly given you permission to take money from me every month, why do I have to wait 6 months before I can get any kind of coverage? General practitioners, look at your situation. You’re run off your feet all day and your patients are ending up for 4-hour trips to walk-in clinics because your days are full of people coming back for things a simple phone call could take care of. Efficiency people, efficiency…

There would definitely be a head-desk moment here if I could move my neck that way. 😛

Stock images, personalised

Hi Emily!
I got a phone call from my brother last night. You used his image with his girlfriend from my stock here: http://www.deviantart.com/view/29583134/

Since he lives over 1,000 miles from home (and his girl) because he’s at school, he wanted me to thank you for him personally on his behalf for creating that picture. He said it moved him very much, and his girlfriend was quite touched as well.

It’s like you’re psychic… You gave them a picture that’s so EXACTLY like what they are going through right now. Every time they get closer, he’s got to go back to school. And he’s in the military, so he can’t just quit and be with her. That’s the short version; I don’t wanna bore you with the longer story.

Suffice it to say, you have done them a great justice with your artwork. And I know it’s important for an artist to know when they’ve really reached someone’s soul. And you have. Thank you!
Your friend,
FantasyStock
(Actually, from my brother and his g/f.)

….Wow.

Lunar Eclipse Mixtape

In spirit of the recent lunar eclipse, I made a mixtape!

1. Duran Duran – Planet Earth
2. Muse – Starlight
3. Dubstar – Stars
4. Babylon Zoo – Spaceman
5. Sonata Arctica – FullMoon
6. Pendulum – Another Planet
7. Air Traffic – Shooting Star
8. Echo & The Bunnymen – The Killing Moon
9. Michael Buble – Moondance
10. Toploader – Dancing in the Moonlight
11. David Bowie – Starman
12. We Are Scientists – Ode to Star L23
13. Covenant – Dead Stars
14. Radiohead – Sail to the Moon
15. Ash – Girl From Mars
16. The Magnetic Fields – You and Me and the Moon
17. Jim Sturgess – Across the Universe

My anti-Valentine’s mixtape, inspired by Colin Murray!

1. Keane – Leaving So Soon?
(Don’t look back if I’m a weight around your neck, ‘cause if you don’t need me, I don’t need you)
2. Manic Street Preachers – Your Love Alone Is Not Enough
(No you won’t make a mess of me, for you’re as blind as a man can be)
3. The Coral – Dreaming of You
(Up in my lonely room, when I’m dreaming of you, oh what can I do, I still need you but I don’t want you now)
4. The Fratellis – Whistle for the Choir
(So if you’re lonely, why’d you say you’re not lonely? You’re a silly girl)
5. The Sounds – Don’t Want To Hurt You
(Don’t want to hurt you, try not to fuck with your feelings, it’s just a matter of trust)
6. Dandy Warhols – We Used to be Friends
(A long time ago, we used to be friends, but I haven’t thought of you lately at all, if ever a greeting I send to you, short and sweet to the soul is all I intend)
7. The Bravery – Every Word is Like a Knife in My Ear
(A fool is a devil and a devil’s a fool, with a fork-tongue needle you got us all fooled, a monkey doing tricks and we couldn’t resist, if this isn’t evil then I don’t know what is)
8. The Kooks – You Don’t Love Me
(You kill my heart just to see if I will rise, above your anger and above your lies)
9. The Wombats – Kill The Director
(So with the angst of a teenage band, here’s another song about a gender I will never understand)
10. The Rifles – One Night Stand
(I’m not being mean in fact I’m really quite polite, all I’m trying to say is that you won’t catch her on Mastermind)
11. The Shins – A Comet Appears
(The lonely are such delicate things, the wind from a wasp could blow them into the sea, with stones on their feet, lost to the light and the loving we need)
12. The Hoosiers – The Trick to Life
(The trick to life is not to get too attached to it!)
13. Boy Kill Boy – On My Own
(Keep the wolf from the door, spend some time getting well on your own, we’re better off on our own)
14. Death Cab for Cutie – Your Heart is an Empty Room
(Burn it down ‘til the embers smoke on the ground and start new when your heart is an empty room, with walls of the deepest blue)
15. Franz Ferdinand – You’re the Reason I’m Leaving
(I don’t know you and I don’t want to, you’re so awkward just like me, but I don’t care)
16. Primal Scream – Get Your Rocks Off
(Ain’t no use in praying, that’s the way it’s staying, get your rocks off, get ‘em off downtown)
17. Scissor Sisters – I Don’t Feel Like Dancing
(I don’t feel like dancing, no sir, no dancing today)
18. Supergrass – Alright
(We are young, we are free, we got teeth, nice and clean, see our friends, see the sighs, we’re alright)
19. Pete Yorn – Ever Fallen In Love
(Ever fallen in love with someone you should’nt’ve fallen in love with?)
20. The Police – So Lonely
(All made up and nowhere to go, welcome to this one man show)
21. Idlewild – Love Steals Us From Loneliness
(You said something stupid like ‘love steals us from the loneliness’, happy birthday, are you lonely yet?)
22. The Cure – Boys Don’t Cry
(I try to laugh about it, cover it all up with lies, I try to laugh about it, hiding the tears in my eyes ‘cause boys don’t cry)
23. Nada Surf – Inside of Love
(Making out with people I hardly know or like, can’t believe what I do late at night, I’m on the outside of love, always under or above)

Contrary to above impressions I actually didn’t turn into an emo kid last night crying in a corner. 🙂 I had a good day and I hope everyone else did too. Reflected on how happy I was for such meaningful long term friendships, ate some comfort food, caught up with work, watched the OC and danced around to my awesome mixtape. 🙂

AND while accidentally playing that Shins track while a Hot Chip record was on the radio at the same time, I think I somehow created an awesome mashup! 🙂 Anyone fancy this mix and I’ll upload it 🙂

Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out)

So, interesting story. Last night I had to do my ‘challenge’ for Facebook’s Next Top Model and the theme was “50’s Modern – Bringing the 50’s to 2008”. I was struggling a bit on my own so dear Ian with his abundance of awesome photography equipment offered to help me out. I had a cool outfit thanks to Nicole and we set up a scene with all the lights and everything, which took like 2 hours… and by the time we were JUST about to start shooting… bam. The power goes out. Complete with sad little fizzling-out noise too, just to rub it in. So I thought we’d just blown the fuse (we did have 2 power extension cords plugged in to one outlet using pretty much all the plug sockets on each one) so we grabbed a candle and went through the rest of the fuses (honestly I think more than the photoshoot was 50’s themed, whose apartment block doesn’t have a breaker switch??) screwing them all in sequentially and NO DICE. So we decided to hide all evidence it could’ve been us and pack up all the equipment, head off on a (by now) 1:00 am 7-11 run to try and replace the fuses, and get back to work. Again NO DICE.

Sev doesn’t have any, and not only had we blown my fuses, not only had we blown the entire APARTMENT BLOCK which was completely pitch black when we opened the door, but we go outside and the ENTIRE pretty much what I thought was a 4-5 block radius of Corydon and Harrow was now The Void. An endless pit of darkness and despair. The pharma plus across the street was out, all streetlights were out, and I’m thinking, holy crap we blew half of Winnipeg trying to get a good photo. And we didn’t even get one! So we moved the set to Ian’s, made a little set which ended up totally rocking anyway and then I got home (thankfully the images of a picketing riot complete with torches outside my window didn’t materialise) to a creepy dark building and had to get myself off to bed by candlelight. TOTALLY horror movie and TOTALLY scary. Yeah, I’ve got kind of used to living alone recently but MAN I definitely wanted a roommate last night. It’d be nice to have solely for the purpose of avoiding midnight zombie attacks when the power’s gone out. I woke up this morning and it was obviously still dark, wanted a shower… then I realised I had no power to dry my hair… went to put my makeup on… realised I couldn’t SEE so I debated calling in to work with the “I can’t come in until the sun comes up” excuse but decided to just grab my oatmeal and some milk, a hair straightener and head in to work early to leech off their power for a morning. *Sigh*

Still, made for a good story 🙂 I still don’t know if it was us that blew the grid but if you, like poor Marty & Catherine found yourselves without power this morning, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY apologise and hope in no way that this will affect your voting for me this week. 🙂

First Post of 2008

I’m a little late in my first update of the new year, January being half over already, but I’ve been really busy over the last couple of weeks. Which is a wonderful thing! Last time I wrote I was in a pretty bad way, but the people that have come through for me recently have been the biggest, well, life-changing and positive influence I’ve had in my life for the longest time. It’s weird that it’s only been a month or so since everything happened, and thinking back to how I was then, the shock of it all, the fear and all that came with this big adjustment, and how I am now – I’m really doing well, and I never thought I would. I’ve been keeping most of my new year’s resolutions, doing a lot of examining of the past and making sure I don’t make the same mistakes I have in the past little while. And I think it’s going really well. I don’t really want to elaborate on the ins and outs of everything, but on the whole, I’m definitely changing certain things about how I do things and feel about things, and things have been going great. I’ve been making time for things I enjoy, seeing people that really matter, and just doing things right. And I owe so much to a couple of you – your words and actions have meant more than I could ever say, and I’m so grateful to have reconnected and spent time with you recently.

So, I’ve been up to a few things as of late. Turning over a new leaf and becoming a total clean freak I guess is a pretty huge change (for anyone that saw my apartment last year!). Since December the whole place has been turned around, scrubbed and hoovered within an inch of its life and I’ve been really keeping up with it so I can HAVE people over WHENEVER and it’ll look awesome. Plus I’ve found that coming home to a pretty, homey little place is just less stressful too. I’ve also taken to cooking. Like actual cooking. I do feel like I’m putting on a little weight which I’m slightly worried about, but I didn’t eat for like a week after my surgery so I figure as long as it’s not coated in sugar and grease then I should be okay. Now I have the one PC I’ve been downloading stuff at lightning speed too, which completely rocks. Tonnes of new music, TV shows and movies to share. 🙂  Singing a lot!  Dinner and movie nights with Kyla and Jesse have been a new addition to my routine too. We trade off every week and it’s just been absolutely fantastic. I’ve been to see a play too, which was wonderful – I miss going to the theatre SO MUCH, and I’m hoping to be going more often in the next couple of months too. Indie night – I hadn’t been dancing in MONTHS and I went to Ready Mix last night and completely danced my heart out. What else… oh yeah, random ice skating, which was definitely fun! Lots of coffee catch-ups with friends, a couple of concerts coming up this week (Three Days Grace, Michael Buble, Floor Thirteen!) oh and I’m going to be taking Tango classes all February too. Very excited!

So yeah, this new year has been a pretty big change for me… but things are going well. And I just feel happy today, and wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who’s been around for the last few weeks. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. 🙂

2007 Wrap Up

So another year draws to a close today and I remember sitting here this time last year, looking back at all the bad things that happened and vowing that this year was going to be different.  Look where that got me.  It almost seems like I was living it all again, in some ways, I still met a guy, allowed myself to get closer to him than anything ever before, get engaged, make future plans, and then have it all come crashing down at Christmas.  This holiday season was probably the worst ever.  I had surgery, then my fiance left me, leaving an enormous heartache and an ever bigger debt of his to clear up.  I was also in the hospital 4 or 5 times within a week.  I’m doing a little better now than I was a week ago – there’s a strange sotr of healing in seeing the person that was everything to you acting so awfully; lessens the sorrow (although it will forever be there) in a way and gives way to more of an ‘at least it happened sooner rather than later’ feeling.

I have been living at my dads since it happened and he has been absolutely wonderful.  I move back in to my place tomorrow, just before work statrs.  I’m a little scared of coming home from work every day to an empty apartment now. It’s a big deal to go from having everything planned out with someone to just… emptiness.  And yes I’m a little afraid.  But I know that things CAN only get better, and I’ve vowed to make a few resolutions to make the same mistakes this year, and make sure by this time next year I will not be sitting miserable and heartbroken again.

1. Stay away from boys.
At least until I get to England. And if one does come by, which is very difficult to believe, be cautionary and don’t give 100% of my heart, soul and belongings to him until the honeymoon period is over.

2. Move back to England.
So much crap has happened to me in the last few years in this city and it’s hard to live in it without a constant reminder of all the good things that went to nothing, and all the people scattered about who have awful things to say about me.   A scant handful of people have been absolutely phenomenally wonderful throughout, and I am so lucky to have them, but for the majority, a lot of people don’t give a toss and are more concerned with gossiping, judging and spreading fabrications than to with actually caring.  I don’t mean that to sound offensive.  The few of you who know who you are have been the best thing to me, and I wouldn’t have been able to get through a lot without you being there and for that I am truly thankful.  But my heart lies in the UK, my lifelong friends are there and I want to get out of this city.

3. Go back to school.
I took time off with every intention of going back in 2005, and haven’t been back since.  Even though I have been left with an enormous financial burden to carry, I am going to make it work.  I have a few weeks to get together my transcripts from the U of W in order to apply to the University of Hertfordshire, where I’m going to do graphic design and illustration.  Being in school again and diong something I love will actually make me feel great, and I can’t wait.

4. See friends more.
I admit I spent far too much time with one person and not enuogh time with my friends this year. And for that I am really sorry.  But this year is going to be different and is already starting to change.  Recently I’ve been seeing old friends and it’s been absolutely wonderful and I’ll do everything I can to make this resolution stick, because I love my friends, and I want to make up for last year.

5. Learn how to put contacts in.
So I don’t have to keep losing my glasses.

6. Start getting fit and eating properly.
Even if it’s doing it the Hip Hop Abs way.

7. Keep a journal.
I did this for a year straight one year and managed to fill about three of them.  I’d really like to do the same thing this year.  I want to grow as a person this year – I realise I’ve been ‘settling for comfortable’, in the words of the ever-wise O.C. – and I am a little scared, but I want to know who I am by myself, not who I am when I have somebody else.

This is getting a bit deep and corny, so I’m going to move on with a bit of a lighter wrap-up of 2007.

My favourite things this year!

Albums:

Air Traffic – Fractured Life
The Shins – Wincing the Night Away
The Pigeon Detectives – Wait for Me
Kaiser Chiefs – Yours Truly, Angry Mob
The View – Hats Off to the Buskers
Beirut – The Flying Club Cup

Movies:

Stardust
Beowulf
Across the Universe
Sweeney Todd
Transformers
Pirates of the Caribbean 3

TV:
This season of Doctor Who
The X Factor and my favourite winning
Never Mind the Buzzcocks
And I just started the Tudors and Robin Hood, which also look great.

So there’s my wrap up of the year.  Lots to think about and lots to focus on.  Thank you to my wonderful friends who’ve put up with all the drama and the tears and for the laughter and good times as well.  I love you so much.  And I hope everyone has an absolutely fantastic time tonight, and all the best for 2008. 🙂

Recovery

Firstly thank you to all of you who are asking how I’m doing after the surgery.  It makes me feel so much better knowing there are people that care and I’m sorry I haven’t written back individually but I’ve just been so drained 😦

So Monday was the op.  I was so scared when I got there but this time I didn’t pass out from the IV like last time I had one.  The nurses were pretty nice and I remember waking up on a stretcher in some ward where I had to sit by myself for an hour before they let me go up to a recovery room.  I guess I just slept most of it.  Then I got wheeled upstairs and Tyler and my dad were there.  I couldn’t talk but I guess I still had some morphine in my system so the pain wasn’t excruciating.  Still couldn’t talk though and I had one of those oxygen masks on too.  Tyler bought me a little stuffed animal and some flowers and read to me for a bit.  After 4 hours I was allowed home and I was pretty groggy so I slept that night.

Next day… the drugs had worn off… and I was in SO MUCH PAIN.  I couldn’t even swallow any spit or anything and by the end of the day I had passed out from lack of energy and we called the Health Links line and they said to go back to the hospital to get some fluids in me.  We got there at 8:30 – got out about 3:30 am the next day. They put a bag of fluid in and also some more morphine so I could swallow some T3s at least.

The next day I forced myself to get down some Alpha-getti.  Only a few spoonfuls but I didn’t want a repeat performance.  Then yesterday I managed to eat a bit of watermelon.  Tyler is worried about my weight, most people  have been saying they lose 10-20 lbs when they have their tonsils out and I was only 105 to begin with.  Last night was not fun.  I was worried about Christmas.  Right now it’s at the point where the scabs at the back of my throat have I guess started coming off, because I was spitting up blood last night and it’s all raw again and I can’t swallow anything.  They said sometimes at this point you have to go back to the hospital to get it cauterized if it keeps bleeding, and I don’t want to be stuck miles away on Christmas, pretending everything is okay when I’m just in agony and might need to go have that done.

I am SO sore right now I just wish I could fastforward the next 2 weeks and be done with it.

Sorry for whining 😦

Thoughts

OH MY GOSH IT’S SO COLD!! I don’t usually bitch about the weather ‘cause, well, I have better things to do, but when you walk to work… minus 43 is NOT fun… and I have been proudly sporting a full length snowsuit each morning this week and yes, I look like a total safety kid but goodness… England cannot come soon enough. lol

Two things have been on my mind a lot this week. Well, three. One: Alesha. My dear friend who I’m terribly worried about may have a new baby 10 days early and I’ve been thinking about her every day. I’ve never had a good friend have a baby before. It’s really exciting and I feel for her so much and I just can’t wait to see how she is and her new baby. Alesha if you get to read this know that I am thinking of you as you do!

Two: My own surgery. It’s on Monday and I’m gonna be on a solid diet of soup and silence for the next two weeks. Christmas isn’t going to be the most fun ever but it could be worse, and this way I don’t get to put on 20lbs from all the food. Which is a good thing 🙂

Three: There’s this little old man I’ve befriended at work in the last few months. He wrote an autobiography of his journey from India to the US and Canada and how he worked for the United Nations. I’ve been helping format his wife’s book (a cookery book) and he is just so sweet and I absolutely love him to bits. He’s 93, and he told me on Monday he only has 6 months left – he has cancer. I just started crying then and there because he still had a smile on his face because he’s “lived a good life” and wanted this book of his wife’s to be finished before he goes. He said I was like “his own granddaughter” and he said he didn’t know if he’d be here to make it to my wedding in July but wanted to give me a wedding gift now in case he doesn’t. He gave me $100 – and again I almost started crying! He said “don’t think after this project I’ll be finished with you, I will still see you” and today when he came to pick up his stuff, he asked my boss to call him the day after I get out of the hospital because “until then I will be very worried about you” and wants to know it went okay. I told him I’d get Tyler to call him as he’ll be with me that day. But honestly, I’ve been absolutely touched by meeting this wonderful person and it makes me so sad it had to be so late in his life. I hope so badly that he will make it past 6 months and way on, he’s such a kind, sweet, sprightly man and I’ll miss him terribly.

I guess there wasn’t a huge point to this post, just musing on recent events and life in general…

Good news, oh wait, bad!

So this week has been pretty eventful. I was supposed to have my surgery on Monday, which I spent all weekend fretting about, and got a phone call Monday morning from the doctor who said the anaesthetist was sick that day so all the non-emergency surgeries had to be postponed. Until January! Hurrah, I thought – no missing out on any holiday festivities, just 2-3 weeks off in the coldest month of the year drinking soup and lots of water. But then my boss told me that wasn’t acceptable and that January was one of her busiest months, and to phone back and try and get in this month. Which I did… and I did. December bloody 17th, which means “no you’ll definitely not be able to have Christmas dinner, you’ll probably be feeling okay in the New Year”. My ENTIRE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY is ruined!! I was so sad, and it did cause a bit of trouble with family stuff etc. but I guess we’ll just see how it goes on actual Christmas day… *sigh* And I thought LAST Christmas was bad!!

What else happened this week… oh my microwave broke, haha, but some dear friends who I love to bits are giving us another one. Because they’re that awesome. Last night I went out with my dad and Nicole to this REALLY FANCY event at the convention centre. He’d won tickets at work and they were $125 tickets – each! – we had a massive “feast” with all this fancy food, wine, and the servers and other staff were all dressed in medieval costumes, and they had “Wassailers” singing between courses and Buffy Sainte Marie did a small concert. And Al Simmons was there too. There was a massive silent auction with something like 200 prizes, ranging from concert tickets to a weekend in Scotland (minimum bid $2000!) – this was seriously a “rich people’s” event!!

Tonight I’m finally finishing my Christmas shopping and then this weekend’s hopefully going to be pretty relaxing, see some friends, bake some cookies, all that holiday season stuff. Hope everyone has a great weekend 🙂

Pre-Surgery and Pre-Christmas

So I figured after over a month it was time to update this thing. The last week has been great – all the stress and worry and issues are all dealt with (huge thanks to my wonderful friends) and everything’s been great since. And I only have next week to work until 2 weeks off after my surgery.

I must admit I’m really nervous about it. I’ve heard from everyone that when you have your tonsils out as an adult it hurts way more and takes longer to heal – the only part I’m worried about is the waking up, ‘cause I remember after I had my appendix out and I first woke up, I freaked because of the pain and the confusion as to where I was. That’s the part I’m dreading. And being stuck at home for 2 weeks straight not even able to talk to anyone. 😦

Still I’m hoping it’ll give me lots of time for reading, and cleaning up the apartment too, which I never have time for!

Saw a few movies recently – Beowulf (twice!) was AMAZING, and I didn’t realise until the second time that it was all CG! So impressive!!

I did a bit of Christmas shopping last night, but the rest I’m going to order online. Felt kind of bad for the amount I put on my Visa (knowing how much I owe!!), but finding the perfect present and knowing how happy it’ll make each person just seems to override that at this time of year. 🙂

Caught up with quite a few people recently – Mike who I used to work with at Best Buy, we went out for coffee and I’m hopefully going to start taking gymnastics with him (he does it to support his martial arts – some Brazilian dance-fighting thing), as soon as my back gets fixed. I went for a massage the other night and the woman confirmed what my chiropractor said – my hips are askew so one leg is “longer” than the other, and therefore all the muscles on one side of my back are twisted. It hurts like hell. All the time. And I can’t afford to go to a physiotherapist even though I’m supposed to to get one of those orthotic things for the shoes… *sigh* Maybe I’ll just suck it up and go to gymnastics. ‘Cause I’m excited to!! I also caught up with Kyla this week too, went out for a lovely sushi supper and she made me a lovely little bag of cookies. It was wonderful and refreshing to be around an old friend I haven’t seen in forever, and hopefully she’s on board to start Warhammering it up with us sometime soon.

What else… oh yeah. I want a website. I’ve been doing so much graphic design recently and I don’t see why I shouldn’t have a website to show some of it off and hopefully get more (personal) business from it. I want to focus on wedding invitations, thank you cards, birthday invites, holiday cards, that sort of thing, but also business cards, brochures, ads… general businessy stuff too. My problem is I know nothing about web design and I don’t have $1000 to pay a company to make one for me. So… any techy friends of mine… if you think you could help me… I’d love you forever…

Anyway that’s about it, I’m off in 2 hours for a nice supper at my dad’s, who I’m really looking forward to seeing. I love my dad. And this weekend… will be full of “practice baking” of Christmas cookies. Anyone want to join me? 🙂

From “The Alchemist”

“When he looked into her dark eyes, and saw that her lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke — the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. Something that exerted the same force whenever two pairs of eyes met, as had theirs here at the well. She smiled, and that was certainly an omen — the omen he had been awaiting, without even knowing he was, for all his life. The omen he had sought to find with his sheep and in his books, in the crystals and in the silence of the desert.

It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than of anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.”

Things that make me happy today

– a member of parliament saying i had a “very pleasant way” about me
– a random person on the bus saying my dress was beautiful
– a letter from a customer saying i was a lovely person
– richard and shelby being in town for the next 2 weeks
– getting amazing hair and makeup for a hair magazine photo shoot on friday
– canad inns seeing us on the news and offering stuff for our wedding
– meeting a guy i’ve worked with over the phone for over a year in person for the first time today
– over a month left of summer 🙂

i hope everyone else is having a wonderful day too 🙂

EN-GER-LAND!

Soooooo yesterday I got back from my holiday to Blightey. I had access to one computer while I was out there, which happened to be 15 years old and was now “too old” to update to IE7 and wouldn’t load anything but MySpace, so I just gave up and figured I’d do all the updating when I got home.

The first few days me and my dad spent adjusting to the jet lag and catching up with family and friends, stocking up on British goodies (we bought the ENTIRE store’s stock of Angel Delight, plus lots of Galaxy chocolate, trifle mix and steak and kidney puddings!) and visiting old schools and nearby towns, which was lovely. Stevenage Day was on Sunday which I went to with Jayde, and we got 99s and watched gorillas on bikes, lol. Caught up with Sophie and Sam at a lovely (but insanely expensive!) dinner and then a trip to the pub… oh how I miss pub lunches and having endless choices of them!

Spent a day in London with my dad soon after, visiting everything from Trafalgar Square to the London Eye and Tower Bridge and everything in between. I had new shoes on because mine had broken but they were hurting pretty bad (my toenails are still blue :S) by the end of the afternoon so we came home but still we took loads of pictures and it was a lovely day.

Thursday was my “birthday surprise” – we got up at about 6:30am and my dad took me to the airport – we were going to Paris!! We flew there in about an hour, and we spent the ENTIRE day on the Metro, walking around seeing ALL the sights, the Louvre, Notre Dame cathedral, the Champs-Elysees and of course the Eiffel Tower – the queue for the lift was well massive so I decided to go up the stairs and get fill my exercise quota for the next year. It was pretty amazing to see the view from up there. We got home at almost midnight and just pretty much crashed.

Spent Friday with my old childhood friend Victoria, we’d grown up on the same street together and it was amazing to see her again, we caught up over an amazing pub lunch and then had a shopping trip in the town before watching old videos of our ‘Talent Shows’ we used to put on for the neighbours as kids. How embarrassing!! Here’s hoping she doesn’t keep her promise of uploading them to youtube 🙂

Sunday me and Sophie headed in to London to see the MUSE GIG AT WEMBLEY – oh my god, most amazing thing ever!! The new stadium was incredible, holds 90,000 people and it was probably about 75% full if not more. Biffy Clyro played and were great, then My Chemical Romance, who weren’t as bad as everyone was making out, and then Muse… I can’t even describe how incredible it was to see my favourite band in such an insanely cool show. It was a 2 hour set and there was fireworks, smoke, the stage going up in flames, searchlights off of massive satellite dishes, even air trapeze acrobats flying through the stadium off masssive globe balloons. Now every time I hear a song of theirs I get goosebumps because it was just absolutely incredible.

I miss England terribly… but it’s my birthday tomorrow, so I’ll be seeing you all hopefully on thursday at indie night 🙂 I’m going to upload all the pictures tomorrow because my dad has half of them!