Personal

When you’re having a bad day, go to Winnipeg Airport

Last week was a bit of a struggle when it came to coming home at the end of the day and relaxing in my apartment. The reason being that my apartment is shared with the worst roommate in the history of roommates. Before moving into this place, I was living solo with my two cats, who, though occasionally would engage in such un-roommate-ly behaviours as throwing up and not cleaning up after themselves, were generally pretty good company and didn’t cause much trouble at all. I took my current roommate in on my couch after finding out he was living out of his car, having been kicked out of his parents’ place. After a month we agreed to find a place together – it’d be cheaper for me, and he’d have a proper roof over his head.

Things started off okay, and then true colours started to show. I should’ve realised when he was kicked out that he had no possessions. This was good in my last place, because he had nothing with which to clutter up my old living room, but in the new one, this translated to using all my dishes and cutlery, hoarding them in his room to fester and mold, and me having to go in there a week later and clean, just so I had something to eat breakfast off of. The pattern continued: no possessions meant no CDs or DVDs, so I would come home to find piles of them scattered across the floor, and various albums missing, having been taken into his car without asking so he had something to listen to. This behaviour continued; living in filth behind his bedroom door, taking things, and generally not cleaning up after himself. Not to mention my food and drink being consumed without permission and empty boxes left in their place in the cupboards. Having exhausted various attempts at rational conversation, notes left when he hadn’t been home, I finally called his father and asked for his help as it was becoming unbearable. Soon after this, the family went on holiday to England, so I had the place to myself for three glorious weeks. It was wonderful. He came home, apologetic for having been a bad roommate, and said he was going to change.

I didn’t realise he meant for the worse.

The first incident I had to deal with last week was him stealing money from my purse. It was only $6 or so in change, but it was going to be my breakfast that day before work, so definitely set the tone for a bit of a sour day. I had a lock installed on my bedroom door and spoke with my property manager, who said they couldn’t do anything else. A day later, I came home to find my TV, internet and phone had been disconnected. Now, he had always been in charge of paying the bills – I would give him half and he’d take care of it. Or so I thought. It came to my attention that for the last 3-4 months, the money I’d been giving him had been spent on booze and weed, and MTS hadn’t seen a penny of it. So naturally they’d disconnected us. This happened right at the point where I was designing an important poster that had to be sent to various newspapers and print companies the next day, relying on an internet connection to have photos and other info sent to me. The nice man at MTS said yes, I could get an account completely separate from him – but only once the bill had been paid, since it was going to the same address. Roommate has been found out – and has proceeded to avoid confrontation by not coming home since.

So I called Shaw, they set up my own account, and I now have a nice Gavin-free internet connection which I know will be paid every month. I also have a lock on my door so I can keep my personal belongings safe, and hopefully he’ll continue his pattern of avoidance so I don’t have to deal with him. As long as he keeps paying the rent, I’m just fine with this. The end of my lease cannot come soon enough…

But I want to end this on a positive note. Last night restored my faith in Generally Being a Decent Human Being. I spent the whole day over at Sweet’s house with his family while he was out in Montreal with the Bombers, which was just wonderful, and at the end of the day I went with his mum to meet him at the airport. Waiting for his arrival, I was reminded of the opening scene of Love Actually:

 

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that love actually is all around.

I saw families overjoyed at seeing loved ones coming through those gates. I saw wives eagerly anticipating the next person to walk through those gates. I saw a little dog jump straight up into his owner’s arms as soon as he walked down the stairs. And then I saw my Sweet, all dressed up with the rest of the team. Our eyes met, and I smiled the biggest smile I had all week.

I like airports.

Art and Soul

This weekend I somehow found myself perched on top of a platform in a whirlwind of fashion, beauty and environmentalism. My very artsy friend Fiona had asked me if I could stand in for her in a modelling gig at the Art Gallery’s annual “Art and Soul” event. The theme this year was “Eco-Chic”, so the outfit was going to be something plant-related, but I didn’t find out until my fitting on Thursday entirely what I was in for. It was lingerie. Beautiful retro corsets and bustiers, babydolls, bras and knickers with ruffles… made of old umbrellas. The only way I can describe my outfit is Marie Antoinette as a ballerina living in the forest. I had a neutral coloured corset with cream gauze sewn on into a kind of tutu, with lichen from Kenora sewn across the top and all throughout the gauze. Then recycled umbrella knickers, fully exposing everything above the boobs and waist down. My hair was big and curled and full of feathers and I had a white porcelain-esque face with big purple colouring around my temples. It was the most creative thing I’ve ever worn in my life.

There were three other girls, two of whom were actual working models, and we took half-hour shifts in pairs standing on top of a raised platform, surrounded by foliage and greenery and rich people. We opened the night with all four of us up there and then took our partnered turns. We had to pick a pose and hold it for five minutes – I had no idea how exhausting this was going to be! I tried going along with the ballerina type poses to go with my outfit, and the girl I was with couldn’t bend down in her outfit, so I got to do a lot of stuff on the floor, which was cool, but holy crap, I came home with bruises on my knees and a very sore back indeed!

We finished at about 11:30 and then got to change and enjoy the rest of the party. My gosh, rich people go all OUT for these things!! There were girls in prom dresses made entirely of magazine covers; two people dressed as energy saving lightbulbs, a girl in blue with a silver sparkling wig with a tap on top of it, a woman covered in leaves with a bag of actual leaves in it, on which she’d written individually “SAVE THE TREES, SAVE THE WORLD”, which she was handing out to anyone and everyone. There were lots of green outfits and girls with hair twice the size they were, full of recyclables and wire… it was just beyond amazing. And each level of the gallery was transformed into a different theme. There was the “midnight garden”, and a VIP lounge, and a beautiful blue-lit dance party, from which people spilled out onto the roof, which was lit with orange lanterns. It was unlike nothing I’d ever seen and I just wish I could’ve taken someone with me. Although I ran into the lovely Jane, who kept me company on the dancefloor at the end of the night, and a couple of others showed up later that I knew, so all in all a very interesting albeit exhausting evening!

The whole fundraiser thing has really been something I’ve been thinking about lately. My friend Vicki in the UK did a marathon last year to raise funds for breast cancer since her mum was diagnosed with it not too long ago. And this year she’s raising money by having people sponsor a skydive. I try and do my bit for charity whenever I can, and making a positive change in the world is something I think we should all think about more often. So much in life we take for granted, and complain when things aren’t going so great for us. But compared to how your life could be if you weren’t lucky enough to be living in the country you are right now, are your problems really as bad as they may seem? I really want to get involved in helping another charity, and I’ve been looking at a few of them. I’m not a singer or an athlete, I’m not part of team or a church or a school that could get together and do something big. But I want to do something. I’m thinking something that I wouldn’t normally do – like I’d love to throw myself out of a plane, but people just do that for fun, and I want it to be challenging – it’d seem more meaningful that way. So, being faced with 6+ months of deep freeze, I decided it would be a good time to train up. Really dedicate time to get myself in shape so by the time the snow melts, I can get out there and do something. Run a marathon, or do a triathlon, or something. Push myself to the absolute limit and have people sponsor it in the name of a good cause. If anyone has any creative ideas for me, or even wants to join me in doing it… I’d totally love to hear from you 🙂

Inspiration

Last night I went out with a lovely group to see Jacob Moon, a phenomenal musician I’ve gotten to know over the last few years. A local band “Robbed in Tuxedo” opened the show, with Dandy Warhols covers and a drummer with an amazing what Jenn and I described as “a magic box”, which he hit and smacked and provided a unique kind of percussion. Jacob was on next, and I was eager for my friends and family to be part of what was sure to be a remarkable performance.

I first saw him when he opened for a Steve Bell concert, probably about five or six years ago now. I remember being blown away by his musical talent, by his message and by his modest, genuine and down to earth personality. I signed up to his mailing list, and have been going to his concerts whenever he’s in town ever since. I’ve even been lucky enough to have built a friendship with him thanks to the magic of Facebook and I was excited to share his talent with a group of people I’m very close to. He opened the show with an uplifting, soulful song, “We Will Overcome”, astonishing the audience with his incredibly skilled use of loop technology. The instrument he uses allows him to record a section of music and play it back, giving him the freedom to play additional parts over the “bed” of music he’s created as a base, resulting in a phenomenal live sound I’ve never seen the likes of anywhere else. His timing is impeccable and his voice pitch-perfect. Two of his albums are live recordings, and could easily pass for studio if it weren’t for the applause at the end.

The set flew by and some of my group had to leave shortly after, but I was happy to see them queuing up for CDs and talking of how they wished he’d kept playing the entire night. Whenever I see Jacob Moon, I’m inspired both by his musical and personal excellence to become all that I can be. To see someone blessed with such incredible talent, writing songs about overcoming adversity, living life with grace, searching for something more than the humdrum of everyday life, and using that talent to not only create amazing music, but to be a part of making a positive change in the world, doing work with International Justice Mission, and donating all proceeds from this show to Lifewater, is nothing short of inspirational.

I’ve met some musicians, and I know other musicians, but there’s something interesting in that some of the most talented and gifted people are some of the most modest, down to earth and genuinely nice human beings. Jacob’s compassion for the suffering in our world is overwhelming and I was left touched and inspired to do all I can to help. Local singer Jodi King put on an impressive set following Jacob, and explained how she was heading to Liberia next month, and how these concerts were raising money to build a well and toilet facility in a place called The Forgotten Village where they have absolutely nothing. Watching her and the band perform a song called “I live for you” in front of a video showing the people in Liberia in complete poverty, but still finding positivity and singing in celebration when they installed their 200th water facility was incredibly moving, and Jodi explained how they were going to be there and be a part of building the 300th. After the show I made a donation to the cause and left with a strong sense of wanting to make a positive change in the world. One day I’d like to do something as phenomenal as what these artists are doing right now. I’m glad I got to share in an evening of such compassion, heart and soul.

Daleks reading the weather

LOL. The breakfast show I listen to on the radio in the mornings did an episode from the actual TARDIS, and this part made me laugh out LOUD. Daleks reading the weather and talking about bacon sandwiches and doing impressions of Frank Bruno. HILARIOUS.

Winter: 1, Social Life: 0?

In the last few weeks, my initial waking moment in the mornings has become progressively colder; each day becoming less inviting to step in to than its predecessor.

Winter is coming.

My morning walk to work is turning rapidly from a nice little jaunt, accompanied by summer tunes, iced cappuccinos and open-toed sandals, to daunting trials soon to only be even possible after first arming up in gloves, boots, even snow suits. At least if I wear a balaclava, nobody will know who this fashion disaster actually is.

Winter is coming.  And it’s going to punch me in the face and steal my lunch money.

I was thinking about winter recently after talking to my friend John in Dublin, who somehow manages to jet off to some sunny destination every other month, who is also unimpressed with the imminent coming of winter.  (Living in Winnipeg however, we are fully prepared to take on any “My winter is worse” argument and win hands down.  I wish I could take joy in this victory.)  I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to occupy my time for the next seven months while the city’s social lives are taken prisoner by Arctic temperatures and threats of frozen skin.  Hibernation! I would like nothing more than to crawl up in my apartment surrounded by kitten love and blankets and catch up on a busy summer’s worth of neglected reading.  But clearly this is not going to work.  I’ve spent this year trying to be very social, catching up with old friends, seeing more of my family, and just getting out there in general.  Winter kind of puts a damper on this, and though my Financial Advisor is probably eagerly anticipating the funds I’ll save over the next half a year, it leaves me wondering about the inescapable seasonal shift of my own social life.

Sure I have plans.  Scrapbooking the millions of pictures I took over the year, reading lots of books, pirating movies, baking cookies and really (hold me to this) learning to use my sewing machine. To do actual sewing, and not just attach the front of a dress to the back of a dress making it impossible to put on.  🙂 But I can’t help but think of the lack of actual human beings in this plan.  Thinking of my weeks right now, I usually have it all planned out by Monday night.  I’ll see so and so on Tuesday, have such and such over on Wednesday, go see this or that on Thursday, hang out with David’s family on Friday, and poof, the week’s done.  I’m left feeling content with the contact I have with the lovely people in my life.  But winter brings difficulty in getting to see those people.  No more going to Ready Mix and dancing every Thursday night.  Too cold.  No more popping round friends’ houses for dinner parties or movies or pot lucks.  Too cold.

So I wonder how I’ll be feeling come, say, February.  Will I be feeling sad and lonely and sorry for myself that I haven’t seen anyone for 4 months? Or will I feel a sense of personal accomplishment for the (intended) copious craft projects I plan to undertake to keep myself occupied? If this was a year ago, the answer would be the former. Hands down, with miniature violins in the background.  But this year, I think things are going to be just fine. I’ll have more projects than I’ll know what to do with, and I know a certain Mrs. Kyla will be helping with half of them.  I’ll read the Twilight series that everyone is banging on about and be happy just to be reading regularly again.  I’ll have a spick and span apartment, I’ll hone my baking skills, and have little movie nights indoors.  There’ll be pumpkin carving and Christmas tree decorating, and tonnes of festivities to look forward to.  This year, I have very little worries about winter’s effects on my social life.

But I can’t say the same for my outdoor style.  Next year’s plan most definitely involves a car. 🙂

Wedding Joy

This weekend I have found myself surrounded by love and happiness, and it has been wonderful. I sit here attempting to type at a normal speed, slowed down by the false nails I wore for Kyla and Jesse’s wedding on Saturday – the most beautiful, lovely wedding ever! The whole thing started on Thursday when we had the rehearsal dinner. I was very nervous about the reading I was going to be doing and the Pastor yelling at me didn’t help, lol, but Kyla was amazing about it and David’s words of encouragement really helped me just get up there and do it on the day – and it went okay!

I met their families and sat with Kyla’s dad at the rehearsal dinner, who was hilarious and we made fun of each other’s noodle-eating abilities. I caught up with Jenn which is always wonderful because I hardly ever see her. And I ate way too much Chinese food. 🙂 The wedding was on Saturday, and after spending Friday night with David’s mum sewing up and making alterations to my dress, I went and got my hair done Saturday morning, practised reading to Vicki and then set off. Thanks to the Bombers winning, David was able to come to the ceremony after all which was wonderful. As I stood up there and talked about “love which is permanent” I kept thoughts of him sitting out there in my head. I didn’t dare look up though as I was on the verge of tears, and after their vows both me and Jenn were just BAWLING. It was so beautiful and lovely and Kyla was THE most beautiful bride I have ever seen in my life.

We had dinner at Bistro 7 ¼ – amazing food, wonderful company, random bursts of song and a little too much wine and champagne! We went to Kyla’s dad’s house afterwards where I was just overcome with emotion, and my happiness for the couple, combined with my happiness at my own current romantic situation all got a little too much and I had to step outside. Had a bit of a wine-induced cry (read: bawl) to David (love gets me every time!) and then realised I’d been sobbing for a while and went inside to grab Vicki, who I’d left unaccompanied in a room practically full of strangers! And feeling like an awful friend (and an awful mess at this point) David drove us both home. Apparently there was a bonfire and sparklers which I was extremely sad to have missed, but we spent the rest of the evening reflecting about life and love, cuddled up and woke up to a lovely home-cooked breakfast (and copious amounts of water).

I am ridiculously happy for Kyla and Jesse right now. Two of the most wonderful people I have ever met; I know they will have a lifetime of happiness, and I was honoured to be a part of their special day. Congratulations to Mr. And Mrs. Taylor!!

Putting things into perspective

Nothing particularly unusual happened on my bike ride to work this morning.  I cycled up to Pembina where I passed the usual construction workers, stopped at the normal lights, and the usual #60 buses passed by, ferrying students on their way to university.  I started to think about how my life would be if I were in school rather than working full time.  I’d see different areas of the city outside my own little work-home-Taylor-Pembina radius.  I’d pass by hundreds of different people every day, seeing a variety of outfits, attitudes and opinions.  I’d learn something academic on a daily basis.  I’d meet new people, people who could turn into some of the closest friends I’ve ever had, just like when I was in university before.  I’d sit in coffee shops surrounded by other students and listen to music, or catch parts of conversations, gossip, debates, or current events.  How different life would be if I were still in university.

I kept cycling to work and this got me thinking about success.  I’d be extremely poor if I were in university – I’d have to find some way to pay my rent and have enough time to study and find a part time job.  I’d have to give up lots of things and take out another loan.  But it’d get me an education and I think I would personally feel more fulfilled.  Ultimately I’d hope I’d end up with qualifications that would get me a better, more successful job in the end.  But by what means do we define “success”?  Natural inclination is to think of it as a monetary definition.  If you make a lot of money, you must be successful.  I don’t make very much money, does this make me a failure? I wouldn’t think so.  I guess it depends on how you personally define success.   So I started thinking about what it meant to me.

As of right now, I have a pretty big chunk of debt, I live in a small (but lovely) apartment dependent on having a room mate to help pay the rent.  I have no car but a full time bicycle and a full time job in which I design ads, business stationery, invitations, type articles and do lots of printing and photocopying.  Am I successful, by general definition? I guess financially, I just about scrape by enough to slowly pay off the bills, afford to go out once in a while, and buy the odd new shirt now and then.  It’s tight.  So if the standard and generally accepted definition of “successful” is indeed financially based, I guess my answer would be no.

But to me success isn’t synonymous with having a lot of money.  Success is made of up personal satisfaction with multiple areas of life, financial stability contributing a small piece of a much larger and more diverse whole.  You can be successful personally, emotionally, academically.   And it got me thinking about everything that’s changed this year.  I looked back on my new year’s resolutions from January this year the other day, and some of my goals included furthering my education, becoming more emotionally stable, less dependent on having a significant other and spending far more time with friends and family.  To grow as a person and feel like I’ve lived a more enriching life.  And looking back on the last 9 or so months, I can definitely say I’ve achieved that.

I’ve always considered myself a lover of literature, arts, creativity and academia in general.  I may not have been able to afford to go back to school, but it hasn’t stopped me researching the world of graphic design and learning enough to be able to start my own little side “business” if you will, with enough interest so far that it’s paid for my ticket to Los Angeles this winter.  I’ve made wonderful new friends and re-established connections with old ones and spent some amazing times with them this year.  I’ve met someone wonderful and our difficult schedules have made the scarce time we do get together absolutely cherished.  I’ve accomplished a lifelong goal and visited Ireland and seen sights I’ve wanted to since I was a small child.  So I think in terms of overall personal success – I can say I’m pretty happy with where I am.

This was quite the thought-provoking bike ride this morning.  And it just made me wonder about how often we think outside our own little boxed in lives of work and sleep and school.  How often do we question the general definition of things such as success? How often does it enter our heads to think of what’s happening in the world, right now outside our own lives?  There’s people out there learning, there’s people out there travelling to see amazing sights.  There’s people running companies so big that one wrong decision could change the way we live. There’s people dreaming of incredible ideas and bringing them into our lives through movies or shows to be made in the future.  There’s people dreaming of making science fiction science fact and changing our perception of reality. There’s people coming into the world, leaving the world, and overcoming enormous obstacles.  And it’s all happening right now.

I found this web site that has a live statistic of things like births, deaths, crimes, etc.  Click on “now”. It kind of puts your own life into perspective.

Russell T. Davies interview pre-Torchwood airing

I have always loved science fiction. As a child, I absolutely adored Doctor Who. It’s a passion that’s never left me. But I understand why there’s still a taboo around it. I’ve never liked fantasy. I get very put off by elves and dwarves and any sort of Middle-earth fantasy land. I can’t stand The Lord of the Rings. Science fiction, to me, is quite different. More rational, closer to the real world. My homemade definition of science fiction is that it deals in rational, scientific rules, rather than fantasy’s world of magic. That’s my distinction.
If there was a Doctor Who story in which magic occurred, I simply wouldn’t allow it. I’d rather it be alien technology than magic. Because I always want there to be some ordinariness in there; some mundanity with the extraordinary.

That, I feel, is what my work over the past couple of years has been all about. You have to look at what is being served elsewhere on television. These days there are 500 shows, good and bad, which have fleets of spaceships and monsters all creeping on what used to be Doctor Who’s preserve. So, in looking for scripts, you have to think, well, Battlestar Galactica’s got the big spaceships and Buffy’s got the fantasy and the vampires, what have we got that’s unique? And it’s the real world.

You can have the Tardis land on a street corner and have the real world running as a thread throughout the story. It’s the whole philosophy of the show. It’s one of the programme’s strengths, to find the sinister in the everyday. That it invades a young audience’s life. If you’re a child it really invades your imagination. Your whole house becomes a deathtrap in your mind. You’re walking past a wheelie bin or mannequins in a shop window and they could come to life, anything could happen. I didn’t invent that, that was all in the programme.

I have made changes. But if people say I’ve introduced a soap opera element into the show, I take that as a pejorative. What they mean is drama. A soap opera element would be the Doctor turning round and saying, “I am your father, Rose.” But if you mean people are happy or sad or affected by events, that’s drama. And it’s quite inconceivable that a primetime BBC show could be written in any other way today.

The emotion of the new Doctor Who gets spoken of an awful lot. But it was never talked about in the planning. To be absolutely blunt, it’s because they got me in to write it. And I’m not a hack, I’m not a new boy, I’m a very, very experienced and successful TV writer and there’s no way I could have got there without understanding character. And emotion. The issue was never discussed, we never sat and thought “I know! We’ll put some emotions in.” It is untenable for the programme to have taken any other course.

In Torchwood, which is on postwatershed, we can be more adult about such things than we have been before. (Torchwood is the name of a mysterious team of investigators, led by the charismatic Captain Jack (John Barrowman), who use alien technology to solve crime both extraterrestrial and human . . . in Cardiff. It is also, trivia fans, an anagram of Doctor Who.) That doesn’t necessarily mean being more adult in terms of sex and violence — even though I wrote Queer as Folk, I’m not terribly interested in depicting sex and violence; they can be so sixth-form if you don’t do them correctly — so much as in terms of emotions. One of the lead characters, played by Eve Myles, starts to have an affair. She has a lovely boyfriend at home, she has this extraordinary job at Torchwood which she can’t talk about. She starts to have this affair with someone at work because it’s the only way she can share what’s going on. It’s a very human situation. I’m very pleased with that storyline because it’s told in a very adult manner. There are powerful scenes of lust and anger and hurt and the joy you get out of the initial stages of having an affair. But it wouldn’t be right for Doctor Who to go into that sort of territory, you’d sit there at 7 o’clock on a Saturday thinking “What the hell is going on?” So why do some people still see it as kids’ stuff, or at least nerds’ stuff? Well, that’s partly because it is. From my point of view there is something very young about science fiction. None of us working on Doctor Who thinks it’s just for children but we do think it can be for children. Like Toy Story or Monsters, Inc. — that’s got some of the most intelligent, stimulating ideas of any film ever, and it’s a story about a talking eyeball! It also attracts a lot of geeks. You can’t deny that when you get a mailbag like mine. And what we’ve done on Doctor Who is to take it away from them, which has left a lot of the men screaming and crying. But to get eight million people watching it, which is the whole point, that male white middle-class audience that dominated the audience for so long has to put up with no longer being pandered to.

Television was younger when Doctor Who was in its first heyday. All sorts of fantastic shows that lack emotional resonance from back then — Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased), Danger Man, even The Prisoner, acclaimed as it was, even, dare I say The Avengers, the wittiest programme made — you couldn’t make them like that now. People have to be more involved.

And I actually think we’re wiser when we come to television and we know ourselves better. We’re talking about the 1960s when Cathy Come Home was shocking, and we sat there and said, “Oh my God, these people have no hope!” We were ignorant. I’m not saying we’re brilliantly clever now. But actually we are more aware of the world around us. We expect to be a part of the programme. I always get a bit puzzled when people talk about interactive TV, because as far as I’m concerned it’s all interactive TV. I sit there talking at the screen all the time, shouting at it, taking the piss out of it.

It’s interesting how we’ve warmed up over the decades. Take Columbo, in which all you ever saw of him was him doing his job. But actually what we loved best about Columbo were the references to his wife. Even though we never actually saw her. The more stuff that got made, the more people learned to seek out the emotional content.

And the process isn’t over yet. Our connection and our fixing on detail is continuing into reality television. I despise people who say they despise reality television. They’re snotty about a form that has all sorts of things wrong with it but is genuinely fascinating. My love of Big Brother is not ironic, I genuinely find it fascinating and powerful because it shows the tiny details of people’s relationships. It exposes the infinitesimal details of how people get on together.

There’s a chance that people who don’t get on with Doctor Who, who think it’s childish or whatever, might get on better with Torchwood. But there are still people who will run away, say, “Oh, it’s science fiction, I’m not interested!” Well, you don’t want to waste your time chasing after people who don’t want to watch. You just have to concentrate on making it good. That’s all that matters. People will watch something that is good.

Weekend Dreams

So I HARDLY ever remember my dreams. Once in maybe a couple of months I’ll remember something. But this weekend I remembered them two nights in a row and both were kind of hilarious so I thought I’d write them down 🙂

First one I dreamt I went on holiday with David to Florida and I really wanted to go to Disneyland. Except after we got there I started growing a beard and I got really upset because I didn’t want to go outside in public with all this stubble. Most of the dream was spent being really sad I couldn’t go to Disneyland, because I had a beard, but David was helping me and I was determined to find a Laser Removal centre so we could go see Mickey. I don’t know if I found one or not but I remember waking up and being VERY SAD for about 2 seconds before grabbing at my face and then being VERY RELIEVED I didn’t actually have any stubble. LOL.

The second one I had a dream about was Kyla’s wedding. In the dream I had to do a reading during the ceremony and so did our friend Jenn, but the two of us had to go find “something pretty” to hold while we did our readings. Jenn got this beautiful candle and we weren’t allowed to get the same thing, so I remember doing a bunch of running around and not being able to settle on anything so I bought an AIR FRESHENER. Anyway so onto the ceremony, it’s my turn to read and I had to do the reading from this big book. Except it was all in Middle English. I get up there.. and I can’t find my page to read from, so I’m thumbing around and it’s just not there so I started just reading from a random page in Middle English hoping nobody would notice because I figured I’d be the only one who studied it, all the while holding my silly air freshener. I talked to Kyla after the ceremony and told her how sorry I was for ruining her wedding and for some reason she wasn’t mad at me… even though what I read had nothing to do with marriage at all!

So… two dreams, both of them ridiculous but both of them kind involving some kind of stress and panic. I wonder if this has anything to do with my current room mate situation, ’cause I’m not stressed about anything else in my life right now!

July, July

It’s that time of year again. I’ve found myself blogging less and less over the years, which is a shame because it’s always interesting to go back and read what I was up to a year or two ago, but without fail I always find myself writing during the Fringe Festival. This is definitely the time of year I find myself happiest, and it always passes by far too quickly. Dear friends fly into town, the beautiful Exchange District is filled with life, colour, and crowds that appreciate the arts, and I’m just surrounded by creativity, talent, and wonderful people. The rest of the year seems so dark and desolate in comparison; Old Market Square is deserted and there’s that underlying hesitance to even visit the Exchange. But for these two glorious weeks in July we’re treated to hundreds of productions from noon ‘til night every day; local vendors sell pretty trinkets to take home, and pubs and coffee houses thrive with dedicated theatre-goers.

I’m sitting here, at this moment in time, thinking how lucky I’ve been this year. Fringe season, without fail, has a knack for making me count my blessings, and this year I’ve had a lot of them. Sure there’s been quite a bit of crap too, but why remember 2008 for that? I’ve got a beautiful new apartment; I’ve been home to England; I’ve visited Ireland and seen something I never dreamed I’d see in person; I’ve caught up with old friends and family; and right now, all my absolute favourite people are here in Winnipeg. I saw a greeting card while I was in the UK that had the words “wherever you are, it’s your friends who make your world”, or something to that effect, on the front, and it’s so true. This past week I’ve been able to see people I may only see once a year, but these are some of the people I love most in the world. And being able to share in such an amazing festival every single day is just quite possibly the most wonderful thing ever.

I’ve seen about 6 plays since last week; I saw the boys twice and I’m so happy they’re doing so well. It’s a wonderful show and Winnipeg loves them and they deserve such love and success. If you see one thing at the Fringe this year, please go and see Sherlock Holmes and the Saline Solution over at the Gas Station. I also saw Scratch – I don’t normally tend to go to improv shows, but it was highly recommended, and I wish there were more hours in the day because I’d go again in a heartbeat! Probably the best improv I’ve ever seen – they took three suggestions at the beginning of the show and somehow, through flipping characters throughout the show, created three elaborate stories that all converged amazingly in this montage, tied up loose ends and had me laughing the whole time. Very impressive indeed. Last night saw Chris Gibbs, a wonderful storyteller and the ever awe-inspiring (and ever perspiring) Jem Rolls, who just opens your mind and mesmerizes an audience with his incredible performance poetry. In a world where praise is given to highlights and boob jobs over natural beauty, trashy gossip magazines are read over a good book, and a night out is dressing in skimpy clothing, getting drunk and dancing with strangers while a club plays soulless records made exclusively for money; the Fringe festival restores my faith in people at large. I’m so glad the theatre is still so very much alive, and there are still so many people who have such an appreciation for the arts.

Throngs flock to venues hours ahead of showtimes to get a ticket to see an hour-long performance, a lot of the time going on word of mouth with no knowledge of what they’re about to see. Performers spend months preparing a show, from an initial idea to a full-on production, and the variety is enormous. Storytellers, dramatists, comedians, singers and dancers all materialize and the city is treated to two magnificent weeks of culture and the creative spirit. One day I’d love to go over to the Edinburgh Fringe in Scotland – almost a month of shows, selling 1.6 MILLION tickets. I hope the boys do well there next month, and just maybe I might be able to go next year. Fingers crossed!

Creepy phone guy

A few days ago I got a random text on my phone saying “How was ur day”. I didn’t recognise the number, but I’ve not long had my phone and definitely don’t have everyone’s numbers, to I wrote back just asking who it was. I got “dc”, followed by “dave. who is this”. I don’t know a Dave C so I ignored it. The next morning, I got another message. “How r u” from the same number. I ignored it again, and then, once again when I got home from work, “how was ur day.” Then the phone calls started – the number appears as Restricted when this person calls me but I can see it when he texts me. I answered – some of my friends show up as restricted when they call, so I wasn’t really thinking too much of it, when the person on the other end said they’d had a text from my number and wanted to know who this was. I asked who I was talking to; he said “Dave, who’s this?” I said “Emily” and said I thought he had the wrong number. He sounded totally creepy and asked me if I’d like to talk anyway; I said no I was busy, and he asked how old I was. At this point I hung up; this was also 11:00 at night and I was going to bed! Then, this morning, at about ten to seven (before my alarm had even gone off) another text woke me up, saying “how r u” from this same guy. I just wrote back asking him to stop calling and texting me, but it’s really starting to bother me. Does anyone know if there’s a way you can block a certain number from contacting your phone?

UK / Ireland Trip

So I thought about writing a “summary” when I was on the plane home from my UK trip, didn’t have a pen or a laptop, so it’s coming a bit late. I’ve been back 4 days now and I’m in a bit of a post-Europe-blues phase – my trip was all too short and I can’t believe it’s over already. I’ve already started a weekly savings transfer thing so by this time next year, I’ll have enough to be able to go back, and possibly stay longer in Dublin and see some kind of awesome music festival too.

I got there to find Sophie waiting for me at the airport with a fun little sign she’d made me, and we went through London, stopped for an amazing baguette lunch (seriously, baguettes full of chicken curry are the way forward!) and Ribena, had a quick detour to the Arsenal stadium and then on to Stevenage finally. I was knackered but it did take me 4 or 5 days to get used to the time difference!

My first Saturday there was spent in London with 3 of my favourite people in the entire world. Met up with Sophie, Jayde and James and we started off trying to be all intellectual and cultured by going to the Victoria & Albert, but shortly decided we needed something far more juvenile and headed for the Science Museum instead, where we played interactive toilet-catching games and went on the Spongebob Squarepants simulator ride, which was brilliant!! Then we took the tube to “lunch” – which ended up being a surprise trip to the Doctor Who Exhibition at Earl’s Court, which I had no idea even existed. Best surprise EVER!! I love my friends!! Took tonnes of pictures, spent far too much money and then had a happy pub lunch afternoon in Covent Garden. Wrapped up the day with a posh night out in the West End seeing Wicked the musical, which was just phenomenal. I got home that night at about midnight and I just cried – partly because I was sad I didn’t get to see these wonderful people again for goodness knows how long, but mostly because I was just so happy to have spent an amazing day with people I love.

Monday I headed to Dublin – and unfortunately got a right cold that morning, so wasn’t exactly feeling great, but I got to the airport early (I was all paranoid I’d miss the bus and then miss my plane) only to find my flight had been delayed a bazillion hours, so I ended up spending the whole day in the Departures Lounge, which made for very fun times indeed. Missed out on an ENTIRE afternoon in Dublin, but eventually got there and David was still waiting for me, thank goodness!! So we checked into our hotel and hopped on the Ghost Bus Tour which was totally cheesy but tonnes of fun, and really interesting to learn about all the haunted places and creepy stories from medieval Dublin. I was definitely being hit hard with the man flu by the end of the night, and it turned out to be a bank holiday so there wasn’t anywhere open past 11, which was slightly rubbish – I’d been looking forward to a drink and some Celtic music in a proper Irish pub! But we settled for fish & chips at some random shop and just stayed in catching up ‘til about 3:00 in the morning which was lovely all in itself. The next day was a WHIRLWIND of touring and sightseeing. There was a 23-stop tour bus but we only made about 5 or 6 of the stops – I think even if we did have more than a day there, we still wouldn’t have been able to see it all! I really wish we could have had just one more day though – there were so many beautiful, beautiful buildings and just so much history to take in. I was completely awestruck when we went to Trinity College, where the Book of Kells is currently kept. Ireland has been my number one place I want to go for the longest time, and the Book of Kells is one of those “I have to see this before I die” things that you always have on these lists but never expect you’ll actually get to see. But there it was, and I just got so overwhelmed that I just started crying (again!). I can’t describe how it was to be in the presence of something so historically epic and beautiful. I fell in love with Trinity College and I’ve seriously been thinking if I do go back to school, eventually, that’s definitely where I’m going to go. The rest of the day was spent with lots of other sightseeing, including the Guinness Storehouse – we toured the brewery, learned all about Guinness and got to enjoy a free pint at the top of the plant, overlooking the entire city, which was beautiful. The flight back to England came way too quickly and I headed back to rainy old Stevenage from a beautiful day in Ireland, exhausted but happy to have spent it in such wonderful company and full of knowledge about the city. Did I mention I fell in love with Dublin??

The rest of my trip in the UK I spent visiting people, shopping, and got together with a bunch of old school friends on Thursday night at the pub. It’s ridiculous that it’s been 8 years since I’ve seen some of these people, but amazing that it’s been that long and people like Sophie I still talk to on a daily basis despite being halfway round the world. I saw a little notecard out there, with “No matter where you are, it’s your friends who make your world” written on it, and definitely took it to heart.

My last night was spent back in London, playing Wii fitness and with a proper Indian meal, before flying back the next day. I was so nervous before I left about travelling alone, but I did it all and I came back unscathed and I just thought to myself on the plane, this was another one of my new year’s resolutions from this year that I’ve actually kept. I never keep resolutions but so far I’ve learned to cook properly, I’ve got healthy and started going to the gym, I got contact lenses, I’ve been reading way more, and I’ve done something really independent. That was my biggest one – becoming really independent and being happy to do it; and I was really happy that I’d gone to Europe by myself and seen all these amazing sights and had all these amazing times. An 8 hour flight is a long time to reflect and the last 6 months have been ones of enormous growth and change and I really feel quite proud about that. I had an amazing time with some truly wonderful people on this trip and I learned so much about Ireland too. It’s sad to think that so many people in the UK itself actually don’t like living there, although I suppose I was guilty of the same thing when I did live there. I guess sometimes you only truly appreciate a place when it’s not so immediate to you any more. I definitely had a phenomenal trip, and I can’t wait to go back next year.

Happy start to the morning

I woke up to this email from my dad:

Hi Em

If you go out with Emily Wood today
You’re sure of a big surprise
If you go out with Emily Wood today
You’d better go in disguise

For every Dad that ever there was
Will gather at the airport, because
Today’s the day that Emily goes to En-gland

The BIG day! I’ll be round at 5:30 to pick you up.

Have a lovely day,

Love
Dadxx

🙂

A vicious cycle!

So as you all know I had a silly little accident not too long ago which has resulted in a lot of missed work and grandma-like manoeuvres. I’ve had to come in to work this week because I can’t afford to take any more time off. I looked into E. I. only to find there’s a minimum wait time of a month before you can even see the remote possibility of assistance on the horizon, plus you have to send in all sorts of paperwork proving you’ve lost 40% or more of your income. I’ll be back to normal in a month (I hope)! What good is it going to do me then? Oh, but the good news is, as I found out yesterday, my Blue Cross application was successfully reviewed and I’ll be able to start using the benefit system on September 1. Sorry, did that say September 1? Honestly? Yes? Okay, sounds GREAT, because I’m sure all this can wait six months.

But it may very well have to do just that at the rate things are going. Onto my point. As of right now, I’ve been to a physiotherapist, who’s strongly suggested further medical tests (MRI/CT scans etc.) before commencing any kind of treatment, and to see my GP as well. There’s a 4 WEEK wait list to get into my doctor. Which brings me onto the bottom line of a ridiculous situation. In the past, I’ve been on prescriptions that are simple, recurring, and need to be refilled every month. Simply calling the pharmacist and ordering a refill is usually the way to go, but after 6 months or so, they have to call your GP to see if it’s okay to keep refilling. I guess something changed, because now a phone call isn’t good enough – you have to GO AND SEE THE GP IN PERSON so he can write you another note for the exact same thing you’ve been doing for the last year. Why does it take so long to get in to see doctors in this city? Because they’re so bloody busy making people come all the way down to write them repeat prescriptions for things they could easily do over the phone!

I don’t understand the system. I really don’t. Blue Cross – if my application’s been successful and I’ve willingly given you permission to take money from me every month, why do I have to wait 6 months before I can get any kind of coverage? General practitioners, look at your situation. You’re run off your feet all day and your patients are ending up for 4-hour trips to walk-in clinics because your days are full of people coming back for things a simple phone call could take care of. Efficiency people, efficiency…

There would definitely be a head-desk moment here if I could move my neck that way. 😛

Stock images, personalised

Hi Emily!
I got a phone call from my brother last night. You used his image with his girlfriend from my stock here: http://www.deviantart.com/view/29583134/

Since he lives over 1,000 miles from home (and his girl) because he’s at school, he wanted me to thank you for him personally on his behalf for creating that picture. He said it moved him very much, and his girlfriend was quite touched as well.

It’s like you’re psychic… You gave them a picture that’s so EXACTLY like what they are going through right now. Every time they get closer, he’s got to go back to school. And he’s in the military, so he can’t just quit and be with her. That’s the short version; I don’t wanna bore you with the longer story.

Suffice it to say, you have done them a great justice with your artwork. And I know it’s important for an artist to know when they’ve really reached someone’s soul. And you have. Thank you!
Your friend,
FantasyStock
(Actually, from my brother and his g/f.)

….Wow.

Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out)

So, interesting story. Last night I had to do my ‘challenge’ for Facebook’s Next Top Model and the theme was “50’s Modern – Bringing the 50’s to 2008”. I was struggling a bit on my own so dear Ian with his abundance of awesome photography equipment offered to help me out. I had a cool outfit thanks to Nicole and we set up a scene with all the lights and everything, which took like 2 hours… and by the time we were JUST about to start shooting… bam. The power goes out. Complete with sad little fizzling-out noise too, just to rub it in. So I thought we’d just blown the fuse (we did have 2 power extension cords plugged in to one outlet using pretty much all the plug sockets on each one) so we grabbed a candle and went through the rest of the fuses (honestly I think more than the photoshoot was 50’s themed, whose apartment block doesn’t have a breaker switch??) screwing them all in sequentially and NO DICE. So we decided to hide all evidence it could’ve been us and pack up all the equipment, head off on a (by now) 1:00 am 7-11 run to try and replace the fuses, and get back to work. Again NO DICE.

Sev doesn’t have any, and not only had we blown my fuses, not only had we blown the entire APARTMENT BLOCK which was completely pitch black when we opened the door, but we go outside and the ENTIRE pretty much what I thought was a 4-5 block radius of Corydon and Harrow was now The Void. An endless pit of darkness and despair. The pharma plus across the street was out, all streetlights were out, and I’m thinking, holy crap we blew half of Winnipeg trying to get a good photo. And we didn’t even get one! So we moved the set to Ian’s, made a little set which ended up totally rocking anyway and then I got home (thankfully the images of a picketing riot complete with torches outside my window didn’t materialise) to a creepy dark building and had to get myself off to bed by candlelight. TOTALLY horror movie and TOTALLY scary. Yeah, I’ve got kind of used to living alone recently but MAN I definitely wanted a roommate last night. It’d be nice to have solely for the purpose of avoiding midnight zombie attacks when the power’s gone out. I woke up this morning and it was obviously still dark, wanted a shower… then I realised I had no power to dry my hair… went to put my makeup on… realised I couldn’t SEE so I debated calling in to work with the “I can’t come in until the sun comes up” excuse but decided to just grab my oatmeal and some milk, a hair straightener and head in to work early to leech off their power for a morning. *Sigh*

Still, made for a good story 🙂 I still don’t know if it was us that blew the grid but if you, like poor Marty & Catherine found yourselves without power this morning, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY apologise and hope in no way that this will affect your voting for me this week. 🙂

First Post of 2008

I’m a little late in my first update of the new year, January being half over already, but I’ve been really busy over the last couple of weeks. Which is a wonderful thing! Last time I wrote I was in a pretty bad way, but the people that have come through for me recently have been the biggest, well, life-changing and positive influence I’ve had in my life for the longest time. It’s weird that it’s only been a month or so since everything happened, and thinking back to how I was then, the shock of it all, the fear and all that came with this big adjustment, and how I am now – I’m really doing well, and I never thought I would. I’ve been keeping most of my new year’s resolutions, doing a lot of examining of the past and making sure I don’t make the same mistakes I have in the past little while. And I think it’s going really well. I don’t really want to elaborate on the ins and outs of everything, but on the whole, I’m definitely changing certain things about how I do things and feel about things, and things have been going great. I’ve been making time for things I enjoy, seeing people that really matter, and just doing things right. And I owe so much to a couple of you – your words and actions have meant more than I could ever say, and I’m so grateful to have reconnected and spent time with you recently.

So, I’ve been up to a few things as of late. Turning over a new leaf and becoming a total clean freak I guess is a pretty huge change (for anyone that saw my apartment last year!). Since December the whole place has been turned around, scrubbed and hoovered within an inch of its life and I’ve been really keeping up with it so I can HAVE people over WHENEVER and it’ll look awesome. Plus I’ve found that coming home to a pretty, homey little place is just less stressful too. I’ve also taken to cooking. Like actual cooking. I do feel like I’m putting on a little weight which I’m slightly worried about, but I didn’t eat for like a week after my surgery so I figure as long as it’s not coated in sugar and grease then I should be okay. Now I have the one PC I’ve been downloading stuff at lightning speed too, which completely rocks. Tonnes of new music, TV shows and movies to share. 🙂  Singing a lot!  Dinner and movie nights with Kyla and Jesse have been a new addition to my routine too. We trade off every week and it’s just been absolutely fantastic. I’ve been to see a play too, which was wonderful – I miss going to the theatre SO MUCH, and I’m hoping to be going more often in the next couple of months too. Indie night – I hadn’t been dancing in MONTHS and I went to Ready Mix last night and completely danced my heart out. What else… oh yeah, random ice skating, which was definitely fun! Lots of coffee catch-ups with friends, a couple of concerts coming up this week (Three Days Grace, Michael Buble, Floor Thirteen!) oh and I’m going to be taking Tango classes all February too. Very excited!

So yeah, this new year has been a pretty big change for me… but things are going well. And I just feel happy today, and wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who’s been around for the last few weeks. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. 🙂

2007 Wrap Up

So another year draws to a close today and I remember sitting here this time last year, looking back at all the bad things that happened and vowing that this year was going to be different.  Look where that got me.  It almost seems like I was living it all again, in some ways, I still met a guy, allowed myself to get closer to him than anything ever before, get engaged, make future plans, and then have it all come crashing down at Christmas.  This holiday season was probably the worst ever.  I had surgery, then my fiance left me, leaving an enormous heartache and an ever bigger debt of his to clear up.  I was also in the hospital 4 or 5 times within a week.  I’m doing a little better now than I was a week ago – there’s a strange sotr of healing in seeing the person that was everything to you acting so awfully; lessens the sorrow (although it will forever be there) in a way and gives way to more of an ‘at least it happened sooner rather than later’ feeling.

I have been living at my dads since it happened and he has been absolutely wonderful.  I move back in to my place tomorrow, just before work statrs.  I’m a little scared of coming home from work every day to an empty apartment now. It’s a big deal to go from having everything planned out with someone to just… emptiness.  And yes I’m a little afraid.  But I know that things CAN only get better, and I’ve vowed to make a few resolutions to make the same mistakes this year, and make sure by this time next year I will not be sitting miserable and heartbroken again.

1. Stay away from boys.
At least until I get to England. And if one does come by, which is very difficult to believe, be cautionary and don’t give 100% of my heart, soul and belongings to him until the honeymoon period is over.

2. Move back to England.
So much crap has happened to me in the last few years in this city and it’s hard to live in it without a constant reminder of all the good things that went to nothing, and all the people scattered about who have awful things to say about me.   A scant handful of people have been absolutely phenomenally wonderful throughout, and I am so lucky to have them, but for the majority, a lot of people don’t give a toss and are more concerned with gossiping, judging and spreading fabrications than to with actually caring.  I don’t mean that to sound offensive.  The few of you who know who you are have been the best thing to me, and I wouldn’t have been able to get through a lot without you being there and for that I am truly thankful.  But my heart lies in the UK, my lifelong friends are there and I want to get out of this city.

3. Go back to school.
I took time off with every intention of going back in 2005, and haven’t been back since.  Even though I have been left with an enormous financial burden to carry, I am going to make it work.  I have a few weeks to get together my transcripts from the U of W in order to apply to the University of Hertfordshire, where I’m going to do graphic design and illustration.  Being in school again and diong something I love will actually make me feel great, and I can’t wait.

4. See friends more.
I admit I spent far too much time with one person and not enuogh time with my friends this year. And for that I am really sorry.  But this year is going to be different and is already starting to change.  Recently I’ve been seeing old friends and it’s been absolutely wonderful and I’ll do everything I can to make this resolution stick, because I love my friends, and I want to make up for last year.

5. Learn how to put contacts in.
So I don’t have to keep losing my glasses.

6. Start getting fit and eating properly.
Even if it’s doing it the Hip Hop Abs way.

7. Keep a journal.
I did this for a year straight one year and managed to fill about three of them.  I’d really like to do the same thing this year.  I want to grow as a person this year – I realise I’ve been ‘settling for comfortable’, in the words of the ever-wise O.C. – and I am a little scared, but I want to know who I am by myself, not who I am when I have somebody else.

This is getting a bit deep and corny, so I’m going to move on with a bit of a lighter wrap-up of 2007.

My favourite things this year!

Albums:

Air Traffic – Fractured Life
The Shins – Wincing the Night Away
The Pigeon Detectives – Wait for Me
Kaiser Chiefs – Yours Truly, Angry Mob
The View – Hats Off to the Buskers
Beirut – The Flying Club Cup

Movies:

Stardust
Beowulf
Across the Universe
Sweeney Todd
Transformers
Pirates of the Caribbean 3

TV:
This season of Doctor Who
The X Factor and my favourite winning
Never Mind the Buzzcocks
And I just started the Tudors and Robin Hood, which also look great.

So there’s my wrap up of the year.  Lots to think about and lots to focus on.  Thank you to my wonderful friends who’ve put up with all the drama and the tears and for the laughter and good times as well.  I love you so much.  And I hope everyone has an absolutely fantastic time tonight, and all the best for 2008. 🙂

Recovery

Firstly thank you to all of you who are asking how I’m doing after the surgery.  It makes me feel so much better knowing there are people that care and I’m sorry I haven’t written back individually but I’ve just been so drained 😦

So Monday was the op.  I was so scared when I got there but this time I didn’t pass out from the IV like last time I had one.  The nurses were pretty nice and I remember waking up on a stretcher in some ward where I had to sit by myself for an hour before they let me go up to a recovery room.  I guess I just slept most of it.  Then I got wheeled upstairs and Tyler and my dad were there.  I couldn’t talk but I guess I still had some morphine in my system so the pain wasn’t excruciating.  Still couldn’t talk though and I had one of those oxygen masks on too.  Tyler bought me a little stuffed animal and some flowers and read to me for a bit.  After 4 hours I was allowed home and I was pretty groggy so I slept that night.

Next day… the drugs had worn off… and I was in SO MUCH PAIN.  I couldn’t even swallow any spit or anything and by the end of the day I had passed out from lack of energy and we called the Health Links line and they said to go back to the hospital to get some fluids in me.  We got there at 8:30 – got out about 3:30 am the next day. They put a bag of fluid in and also some more morphine so I could swallow some T3s at least.

The next day I forced myself to get down some Alpha-getti.  Only a few spoonfuls but I didn’t want a repeat performance.  Then yesterday I managed to eat a bit of watermelon.  Tyler is worried about my weight, most people  have been saying they lose 10-20 lbs when they have their tonsils out and I was only 105 to begin with.  Last night was not fun.  I was worried about Christmas.  Right now it’s at the point where the scabs at the back of my throat have I guess started coming off, because I was spitting up blood last night and it’s all raw again and I can’t swallow anything.  They said sometimes at this point you have to go back to the hospital to get it cauterized if it keeps bleeding, and I don’t want to be stuck miles away on Christmas, pretending everything is okay when I’m just in agony and might need to go have that done.

I am SO sore right now I just wish I could fastforward the next 2 weeks and be done with it.

Sorry for whining 😦