In which I spend an hour DECONTAMINATING MY FACE in a bath of BLEACH

So I’ve never actually participated in one of LiLu’s TMI Thursdays, but I’ve been an avid lurker, and always enjoyed people’s stories of utterly (and hilariously) humiliating themselves for the Internet every week. Sadly, the feature is no more – but after what happened to me Tuesday night, I had to share what was quite possibly the single grossest thing that could ever happen to anyone in the history of man.

I was walking the two blocks from work to the bus stop, which, being between large buildings, was naturally a bit of a wind trap. I was behind a guy who was obviously a little rough around the edges, hacking up phlegm and stumbling along his merry way, when he decided to blow his nose. Without a tissue. INTO THE AIR. A full on snot-rocket, let loose to the sky… which whipped around… and landed on my mouth.   Remember that time on Glee, when Ms. Pilsbury had to have three decontamination showers in the ER after a kid barfed all over her shoes? NOTHING ON THIS. I wiped it off in a panic, and spent the next 25 minutes trying not to gag or close my lips, while I waited and sat crying through the bus ride home, where I promptly ran upstairs, through tears and incomprehensible whimpers of contamination, used my toothbrush to SCRUB my lips, brush my teeth, and dashed to the shower where I scoured my face within an inch of its life.

Thankfully NOW I’m clean… but I think it’s a pretty safe bet to say this was probably THE nastiest thing that could ever happen to ANYONE on their way home. EVER.

It’s because I said I didn’t like Winnipeg in the winter, isn’t it? *Shudder*

P.S. Bonus points to Ashley and Brittney for the copious amounts of sympathy on that bus ride home!!

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52 comments

  1. oh my goodness you should’ve told sweet AFTER you kissed him that night lol might’ve been an interesting reaction!!!

  2. Ohh….ICK. This is the first thing I read this morning in my Google Reader and I nearly revisited my breakfast. I would definitely have been crying and freaking out too! I also probably would have chased down the butt-head who did it and wiped his own snot back on HIS EYEBALL or something. Yuccckkkk…

    But hey, thanks for keeping TMI alive! 😉

  3. That is the second most gross thing ever! The grossest is when a friend told me a story about a time when he was younger when he kissed a woman who vomited in his mouth!!

  4. Wow! OMG. 😦 I would have died. I don’t know if I would have made it home???? Oh you poor thing!!! That is so awful!!! I am so happy you’re ok now but that is a very traumatic thing to have happen! Hope it’s soon just a distant memory for you!!!

  5. oh.MY GOD. Yep it’s because you were dissing Wpg, so some homeless guy thought he’d give you a nice parting gift LOL ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWWwwWwwwW!!!! I hope you don’t catch anything! 😛

  6. Holy mother of Yahweh thats awful! Makes me love LA where we are always sealed in our cars, safe from other people’s bodily fluids.

  7. Oh my gosh, that IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING EVER!!! I am so sorry this happened to you! I would have washed myself for hours! Did the guy even realize what he did??

  8. Ohhh buddy!! That’s horrendous!! I would have done the same!

    Once when I was out for a run, some degenerate bicycled by me on the sidewalk (illegal) and SPIT DIRECTLY IN MY FACE. Like, hocked a big loogey and spit it right into my face. I sprinted home, crying/swearing, also did a decontamination, and then got angry. I might write a post about what happened next.

  9. Another good reason to never leave home without a bottle of hand sanitizer. I think I would have drank the whole bottle!

  10. No! No! No!! I would have gone into the fetal position!! You are a brave lady. I would not be able to handle this, I am serious when I say I might have crawled into me bed for a week.

  11. Oh, man. Now I know how all the unsuspecting readers felt when they stumbled on MY blog on Thursdays… while eating lunch… blech!!! 😉

  12. Pingback: 2010: Brilliance |

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