So I’ve never actually participated in one of LiLu’s TMI Thursdays, but I’ve been an avid lurker, and always enjoyed people’s stories of utterly (and hilariously) humiliating themselves for the Internet every week. Sadly, the feature is no more – but after what happened to me Tuesday night, I had to share what was quite possibly the single grossest thing that could ever happen to anyone in the history of man.
I was walking the two blocks from work to the bus stop, which, being between large buildings, was naturally a bit of a wind trap. I was behind a guy who was obviously a little rough around the edges, hacking up phlegm and stumbling along his merry way, when he decided to blow his nose. Without a tissue. INTO THE AIR. A full on snot-rocket, let loose to the sky… which whipped around… and landed on my mouth. Remember that time on Glee, when Ms. Pilsbury had to have three decontamination showers in the ER after a kid barfed all over her shoes? NOTHING ON THIS. I wiped it off in a panic, and spent the next 25 minutes trying not to gag or close my lips, while I waited and sat crying through the bus ride home, where I 
promptly ran upstairs, through tears and incomprehensible whimpers of contamination, used my toothbrush to SCRUB my lips, brush my teeth, and dashed to the shower where I scoured my face within an inch of its life.
Thankfully NOW I’m clean… but I think it’s a pretty safe bet to say this was probably THE nastiest thing that could ever happen to ANYONE on their way home. EVER.
It’s because I said I didn’t like Winnipeg in the winter, isn’t it? *Shudder*
P.S. Bonus points to Ashley and Brittney for the copious amounts of sympathy on that bus ride home!!
OMG. yes yes it is LOL. I was gagging while I read it!!! you poor girl!!!!
Blech!!!!!! That is awful! At least it’s over! Yuck…
Wow.
That is disgusting.
Sweet Mother…
I can’t hardly even read through this…
Oh wow. Thats brutal. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
I’m so sorry that happened. It’s soooo gross.
…my jaw dropped!
EW, EW, EW, EW, EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Wow Em!!! That IS THE MOST DISGUSTING thing !!!! U pooooor girly!!!!
Gnarly.
That is all that can really be said about that.
I think I might just die. Ugh!!
OMG – you poor girl! That is really the grossest thing ever!! Ugh.
oh my goodness you should’ve told sweet AFTER you kissed him that night lol might’ve been an interesting reaction!!!
Ohh….ICK. This is the first thing I read this morning in my Google Reader and I nearly revisited my breakfast. I would definitely have been crying and freaking out too! I also probably would have chased down the butt-head who did it and wiped his own snot back on HIS EYEBALL or something. Yuccckkkk…
But hey, thanks for keeping TMI alive! 😉
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! OMG, Emily. I don’t know you kept it together on the bus-ride home!!
That is the second most gross thing ever! The grossest is when a friend told me a story about a time when he was younger when he kissed a woman who vomited in his mouth!!
Wow! OMG. 😦 I would have died. I don’t know if I would have made it home???? Oh you poor thing!!! That is so awful!!! I am so happy you’re ok now but that is a very traumatic thing to have happen! Hope it’s soon just a distant memory for you!!!
EW! That is all kinds of wrong!
Did he apologize, say anything? That’s the most fu***ed up story I’ve heard in a long time…..
Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh.MY GOD. Yep it’s because you were dissing Wpg, so some homeless guy thought he’d give you a nice parting gift LOL ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWWwwWwwwW!!!! I hope you don’t catch anything! 😛
Emily, perhaps knowing that you are getting my Sunshine Award today will help to wash off some of the grossness! 🙂
Come check it out! http://crayonsandcylons.blogspot.com/2010/04/award-time.html
Holy mother of Yahweh thats awful! Makes me love LA where we are always sealed in our cars, safe from other people’s bodily fluids.
Oh. Em. Gee. That is so gross. I am shuddering right now. I might have puked on the spot if I was you!
I have no words.
Oh my gosh, that IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING EVER!!! I am so sorry this happened to you! I would have washed myself for hours! Did the guy even realize what he did??
OH. MY. GOSH.
that is awful! i am mortified for you!
LOL so good. But then not at all. ::hoses in Lysol::
OK. That is way beyond anything I ever imagined. That is so, so disgusting. UGH!
Mostly, I’m trying to figure out the physics of this….
I hope you’d get over the grossness in no time..cause if it was me, I would have a hard time.
That was downright nasty GROSS!
OH.MY.GAWD.
That’s horrifying.
Also, Annabelle’s comment made me giggle. 🙂
Ohhh buddy!! That’s horrendous!! I would have done the same!
Once when I was out for a run, some degenerate bicycled by me on the sidewalk (illegal) and SPIT DIRECTLY IN MY FACE. Like, hocked a big loogey and spit it right into my face. I sprinted home, crying/swearing, also did a decontamination, and then got angry. I might write a post about what happened next.
Another good reason to never leave home without a bottle of hand sanitizer. I think I would have drank the whole bottle!
Yeah, that’s pretty awful. If there’s one thing that grosses me out more than anything, it’s mucous and phlegm!
No! No! No!! I would have gone into the fetal position!! You are a brave lady. I would not be able to handle this, I am serious when I say I might have crawled into me bed for a week.
Yuck!!! That’s gross! I am sorry this has happened to you.
Wow…I don’t know what else to say besides, wow!
OH. MY. GOD. I am so, so sorry.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
I am baffled. I do not even know what to say!!
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
I don’t have anything new to say about this, but, disgusting!
OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!! Definitely deep sympathy for you!!! Ugh!
i might have thrown up….that is so awful!!!!
Oh
my
gosh.
How gross! I would have freaked out. Just thinking about that makes me want to go scrub my mouth!
OMG, I’d be soo furious, upset and sick if that happened to me!!
Oh, man. Now I know how all the unsuspecting readers felt when they stumbled on MY blog on Thursdays… while eating lunch… blech!!! 😉
Oh Em-how awful!
Oh good god! You weren’t kidding about it being disgusting.
eww, eww, eww, you are forever contaminated. snot rockets should NOT be allowed… 😦
Remarkable things here. I am very happy to peer your post.
Thank you a lot and I am taking a look forward to touch you.
Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?