So I’ve never actually participated in one of LiLu’s TMI Thursdays, but I’ve been an avid lurker, and always enjoyed people’s stories of utterly (and hilariously) humiliating themselves for the Internet every week. Sadly, the feature is no more – but after what happened to me Tuesday night, I had to share what was quite possibly the single grossest thing that could ever happen to anyone in the history of man.
I was walking the two blocks from work to the bus stop, which, being between large buildings, was naturally a bit of a wind trap. I was behind a guy who was obviously a little rough around the edges, hacking up phlegm and stumbling along his merry way, when he decided to blow his nose. Without a tissue. INTO THE AIR. A full on snot-rocket, let loose to the sky… which whipped around… and landed on my mouth. Remember that time on Glee, when Ms. Pilsbury had to have three decontamination showers in the ER after a kid barfed all over her shoes? NOTHING ON THIS. I wiped it off in a panic, and spent the next 25 minutes trying not to gag or close my lips, while I waited and sat crying through the bus ride home, where I promptly ran upstairs, through tears and incomprehensible whimpers of contamination, used my toothbrush to SCRUB my lips, brush my teeth, and dashed to the shower where I scoured my face within an inch of its life.
Thankfully NOW I’m clean… but I think it’s a pretty safe bet to say this was probably THE nastiest thing that could ever happen to ANYONE on their way home. EVER.
It’s because I said I didn’t like Winnipeg in the winter, isn’t it? *Shudder*