A Royal Rant

This Friday marks an important date in the world’s calendar: the Royal Wedding. Now, some of you may be rolling your eyes and hovering your cursor over that red X, but I ask you to bear with me – this isn’t intended to be a gushy post of patriotism (okay, maybe a little), but to express why this event has – and rightfully deserves – captured the hearts of millions across the globe.  (Sidenote: isn’t this the most beautiful wedding image you’ve ever seen?)

Sadly, people’s reaction to my talking about the royal family usually tends to be one of apathy or of utter opposition.  I’ve lost count how many times I’ve heard people say things like “why bother with a monarchy, they don’t do anything”, or even profess “hatred” toward people they don’t even know. In a way, the royal family seems to be met often in the same manner people talk about celebrities – they love to gossip, spread rumours, and thrive on stories that show them in a poor light. Just take a look at your local checkout stand, and you’ll see all sorts of defamatory headlines about pop stars or politicians, sold by the hundreds of thousands and making people throughout the world salivate. It’s awful, but it’s also a strangely intriguing behaviour – why do people try to tear down those in the spotlight without second thought to the fact that behind the magazine covers and paparazzi shots, these are real people with real feelings?

A couple of months ago I read a post from a wonderful writer.  It came following the Oscars, and really made me think:

It’s a night dedicated to people who love what they do, who pour their heart into their job at all hours of the day, and then get a bad reputation for it. They are the only people we don’t whisper about when we’re gossiping. Everyone else receives hushed voices, but for them, we gawk and squeal, and we forget that they’re someone else’s daughter or sister or son or husband. Someone else’s friends and families. They are real people with real passions. And each year, we expect more of them. We have the nerve to complain about the clothes they wear or the colour they dyed their hair. So many people in our world are guilty of the same indiscretions and yet we magnify their lives and their missteps and we forget that they stumble over all the issues that come with being human. We forget that they have to roll out of bed and go to work… that they’re real. They have big dreams, just like you and me.”

Prince William and Kate Middleton may not be movie stars, but they are real people who just so happened to be born into the public eye. They didn’t ask to be famous, they just happened to fall in love. And yet so many people in the world meet the mere mention of their names with an almost reflexive tone of scorn. Why do people do this to anyone in the spotlight? They’ll make judgment on people they don’t know, and spread rumous like wildfire without a second thought to bother questioning if there’s any truth behind them. They’ll jump on the bandwagon and spread criticism like the plague, without considering that the subjects of their scorn are real people with real feelings that can be hurt just like yours or mine.

To me, the Royal Wedding is a wonderful occasion. I love to celebrate anyone’s wedding, but there’s something special about something that only tends to happen once a generation. She’s intelligent, charming, and a beautiful role model and ambassador for England. He was raised by one of the most compassionate, caring mothers there ever was; his life was touched by tragedy and his grieving thrust across newspapers globally. Yet he faces the world with a positive attitude, does work in third-world countries, and has done a lot in his career to make the world a better place. Years ago, entire nations would rejoice at a royal event. People would hold parties and deck the streets and squeeze big groups into living rooms tightly around a little black and white television, celebrating the occasion, united and proud, happy for people that were synonymous with the country they loved so dearly.  There are still lots of people that do this – my heart gave a little leap when I saw the bunting decking the streets of London. But today, a large proportion of people seem quick to vocalise their apathy or distaste. They find reason for fault, create hateful Facebook groups, and the British security have to be out in full force thanks to the enormous range of threats to the royal family from protesters, terrorists, anarchists and anti-monarchists.

Do people really have nothing better to do with their lives than trying to take other people down?

It happens to a degree whenever somebody lands themselves in the spotlight. For every fifty people who’ll be happy for you, it seems certain that there’ll be five that will spread hate and gossip and try to rain on your parade.  A good friend of mine said it well when I last wrote about this sort of thing (after being targeted repeatedly by an Internet troll): “There’s always gonna be haters, and they only get more numerous and louder the more successful you become.”  Which is why I think it’s important to try to counter the negativity thrown carelessly about the world with kindness and support. Don’t join the bandwagon of gossip and rumours – if you don’t like something, keep quiet. Spreading hate isn’t going to do anything except make you look bad. If you’re in favour of something or someone, wear your support proudly on your sleeve. There’s enough pessimism and slander in the world already, and how are you going to feel at the end of your life when you look back and see that you chose to spend the time you were given actively trying to hurt others? Trying to tarnish reputations and ruin occasions of joy. I feel so strongly about this because I’ve been the subject of it, and I don’t want to live in a world where people are quicker to fuel the rumour mill than they are to stand up for somebody.

In two days, two good-hearted, loving people who just so happen to be under the microscope of millions across the planet, are going to celebrate their commitment to each other in a beautiful ceremony that will be talked about for years, at the heart of the country I’m proud to call home. If you have negative thoughts about the monarchy, please keep them to yourself and allow those who support them (as well as those directly involved) to have their day unhindered by hate. There is nothing worse than looking back on your once-in-a-lifetime day and remembering it for something other than the joyous celebration it deserves to be. Trust me. So, this Friday, I will be hanging my Union Jack, making the Royal Chocolate Biscuit Cake, donning fascinators and celebrating the Royal Wedding with my girlfriends as we wonder where on their journey the congratulatory cards we made for William and Kate might be. (Yes, we are secretly twelve years old. :)) 

Think for a second that whether you’re discussing a coworker or a celebrity, there are real people at the other end of your commentary. In this situation, there are real people with real feelings who’ve committed no crime other than falling in love, who would probably prefer an intimate celebration to a national event anyway.  And keep this in mind as you go about your day-to-day life, or your travels across the Internet. 

If someone passes on a rumour, question it rather than continue it. Stand by those you care about instead of keeping quiet while they’re under attack. Take a stand for positivity, and spread love in a world where it seems so easy to spread hate through text messages and cowardly anonymous comments. It’s easy to do what everyone else is doing, but it takes courage to stand up for what’s right. And on Friday, the decent thing is to show nothing but a spirit of congratulations, and allow the Prince and Princess-to-be to celebrate their love just like anyone else. Surely it can’t be too much to ask to allow them to have this one day?

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58 comments

  1. Hi Emily –

    I love the photo of the Royal pair hugging (is that the wedding photo you referred to). They look awesome together and she is truly, truly a stunningly beautiful girl. I don’t think she’s ever heavy with the makeup, at least I can’t see it. In my eyes, she is the beautiful young woman next door, type.

    I think that much of people’s dislike for royalty, is mostly jealousy talking. As you say, they’re regular people who happened to be born in to something special. Enjoy 🙂

  2. I completely agree with you…. I am simply happy for Will and Kate. Why wouldn’t I be happy for any two people who are so in love that they want to spend the rest of their lives together?

    Funnily, I do think that in Germany a lot of people will follow the royal wedding with as much enthusiasm as you do… a lot of people love the royal family and Princess Diana was a saint for many.

    Have a great day on Friday. I’ll be in the process of moving, so not much time to watch the wedding… but I’ll be thinking of them.

  3. Hi Emily,

    Love your thoughts in this post. You are perfectly right. It is so easy to have preconceived ideas about people that we do not know and in the process, we make assumptions and form judgments that are often way off the mark. I suppose being INFJ helps to look a little more deeply beyond the surface.

    Having been a huge fan of empires and royalty throughout history, even though I prefer the East over the West, I still think it is pretty cool to have a monarchy in our world today. I agree with your assessment of the royal groom and bride. I think that their wedding is truly one of a kind because it is such a public event and that people all over the world can unite to celebrate it using social media and the likes. I mean given the events, disunity and disharmony in the world today, I feel that it would be better to find instances where we can unite instead of looking at things in a way that divides us.

    Thanks for sharing this lovely article! 🙂

    Irving the Vizier

  4. Lovely post. (And yes, that photo is amazing! So magical and ethereal). I also really love the lighting and posing of the couple’s shoot – I remember when those pictures first came out.

    I have nothing personally against the couple or anything to do with the wedding. But working in media and thus being a jaded young journalist, I am well and truly over the royal wedding saturation. The sheer amount of (often inane) story angles is just ridiculous, even for such a rare occasion. And to make things worse, I’ll be working late that evening AND early the next day (but thankfully on general, not wedding duties). Bring on next week!

    1. Even I’m getting a bit overwhelmed with all the documentaries… they all seem to be blending into the same one this week! I hadn’t seen the photo (or any of their work) before, but I browsed through the website, and it’s stunning stuff. The wedding at the Waldorf was incredible!!

  5. I’m not like OTT excited about it but it’s a big deal – it should be one of the biggest days in Kate’s Life (So far at least lol). I’m going to watch it on the telly on Friday with my Mum but that’s kinda for a “where were you….” moment

    1. Change that by Friday morning I was stupidly excited – giving a running commentary on Twitter while my Dad was commenting on what was wrong procedure wise and my Mum commented on outfits lol.

  6. People here seem to be pretty mixed about what they feel about the Royal Wedding. So far I’ve taken it as each to their own, really. I’m not super excited about it, but I’m not getting down on it, either. I’m grateful that we get a day off for it, I’ve sent requested memorabilia home and I hope it goes well for the happy couple but I’m not going to go down and stand on the street to watch the procession go by. I feel like it should be a bit of a private thing, and the poor couple have to submit their wedding to the world.

    I do agree about the celebrities are people too point you made. And to be fair, I think that as celebrities go, Kate + Wills are pretty good role models. I also think that in general people are more likely to criticise than praise, which is a bit sad. We also tend to make a lot of assumptions + have preconceived notions about people that really are strangers to us. It’s a bit mad, really.

    Good post, hey 🙂

  7. That first photo is just lovely, as is the one of them hugging. Love your take on the royal wedding, a great reminder in a time when people are all too quick to judge and gossip instead of just being happy for others. Great post – and that’s too cute you and your friend made cards!

  8. Who doesn’t love a good fairy tale, capped off with an amazing wedding?? I am really excited for the Royal wedding. There are just so many haters out there. It’s really sad. I mean, it must get exhausting to be SO negative, right?

    If I didn’t work on Fri, i would totally tune in and watch it live. But since I work, I’ll DVR it and watch it on Friday night.

  9. Wonderful post. I have mixed feelings about having a monarchy, but it doesn’t stop me seeing the wonderful example William and Kate are setting for the millions of children who will watch their wedding.

    The coverage of the honeymoon clothes buying in the press made me smile – the abject horror written by the style magazines that Kate bought “cheap” clothes from “normal” shops… and she chose them herself! lol

  10. Yay! Glad I’m not the only one excited! I would watch but that means I would have to find internet somewhere at 230 in the morning. I was actually talking to my sister about a similar topic the other day. Actually it was about comments on youtube videos of them. (I know, not the source for the most intelligent comments) I thought how vile it was that people can make these type of comments without knowing them, especially the “they should just die” type of comments! Yes, I can understand not being interested in the topic, but show some respect for human life please!
    Sorry, went off on a bit of my own rant there. 😛
    Great post! Really good read in the A.M.!

    1. Thanks! It is absolutely horrid how people just turn into such monsters when you remove accountability and allow them to be anonymous. It’s a sad statement on the human race just how common and how awful it is… YouTube channels are some of the most negative places I’ve seen on the Internet 😦

  11. I think it’s really sad that people wish bad things for William and Kate. I’ve always had a special place in my heart for William and Kate seems like a great girl and one that is much better equipped to deal with the pressures that come with being in the spotlight than Diana was. Hopefully they will live a long and happy life together.

    I am curious to see what dress she wears, but admit that I am totally burned out on the wedding coverage that’s been shown in the states. I can’t even imagine how much more coverage it’s received in the UK. However, I don’t blame William and Kate for that–if anything, they’d probably prefer a little more privacy if given the choice. I’ll be looking forward to watching clips of the wedding and seeing the pictures, and I wish them both the best 🙂

    Oh, and thank you so much for posting that recipe! I’ve seen it mentioned multiple times in the coverage and have been so curious about what a biscuit cake is. It looks delicious!!

  12. it’s pretty amazing walking around london with all the flags everwhere. really a great feeling to see so many people proud of where we live and celebrating together. it’s so sad to hear on the news about the threats they’re getting and the attacks on the queen and everything, its awful, but kate seems like a smart and savvy girl who will adapt to royal life just fine. i can’t wait to see her dress! great post em, love how you always stand up for people =)

  13. I, too, am happy for the couple and hope they share many wonderful years together. Like anyone else who ties the knot, they deserve happiness and I hope they’re able to capture it despite their being in the public spotlight.

    With that said, eemusings nailed it on the head when she said “I am well and truly over the royal wedding saturation. The sheer amount of (often inane) story angles is just ridiculous, even for such a rare occasion.”

    There CAN be too much of a good thing sometimes. Just let the couple get married in peace already. 😉

  14. Honestly… I’m happy for them and all but I just don’t care. Just like I don’t care when silly celebs get married. Why? Because I don’t know them. They aren’t friends of mine. So why should I care about their wedding?

    1. I can see that. I guess it’s different if you’ve grown up in the country and studied hundreds of years of kings and queens and battles and things, it almost feels like it’s part of your culture and part of you to follow the royal family!

  15. My mother-in-law has FORBADE anyone from calling her or bothering her on Friday. She will be watching the Royal Wedding all day long.

    It’s very exciting! And I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with negativity surrounding it. 😦

  16. I’m really excited for the wedding- I’m a total “royals” geek, I grew up watching far too much british TV to turn out any other way 🙂

    I know that there are legitimate issues around the cost of the wedding during a recession and I understand why people have problems with the monarchy from a philosophical standpoint… but getting upset about the wedding and acting like it’s the end of the world? It’s just a wedding! I’d love to see those people try to find an easier and slower moving target for their anger- how boring. 😉

    1. Yep. I’ve seen some funny “Keep Calm and…” posters lately. “Keep Calm, It’s Just A Wedding” was a great one, as was “Keep Calm, There’s Still One Prince Left”!

  17. I wish William and Kate well, but I feel rather sorry for them being thrust into the spotlight like this…

    People here in Saint John seem to be quite excited about the wedding…apparently sales of ladies’ hats at one local shop are up 75% over last year…

    Wendy

  18. my issue is not the wedding or the couple in themselves, it’s all the hype. i can’t stand that EVERYTHING is about the royal wedding. i LOVE weddings, and the nitpicking of every minute detail is putting a bad taste in my mouth. the circus of it all makes my head spin. i’m looking forward to when we stop obsessing over them and the event. i wish them all the best; i just want the world to take it down a notch

  19. I haven’t seen too much of people absolutely hating on William and Kate. Most of it is just SICK and TIRED of all the coverage of it. I mean, it started even before he proposed and from then on, we’ve had to hear every little itty-bitty detail of the wedding planning process. Quite frankly? I could care less. And not just because this is happening in another country, but because I just really don’t care about it! I understand how excited some people are, but I think the rest of us have the right to NOT care about it. I’ve never said too much about it, nor talked bad about either of them. I think they are both lovely people and deserve all the happiness in the world.

    But, for me, I will be happy when their wedding is over because the media coverage (especially the gossip mags) have been insane about the coverage.

  20. I totally agree with you! I definitely don’t have anything against the Royal Family- actually, when I was young, I was obsessed with Princess Diana. I wanted to BE HER when I was older, and I was legitimately devastated (I was like 7?) when she passed away. I was inconsolable. I knew way more about the Royal Family before 10 years old than just about anything else, ha! I watched all the coverage on Princess Diana’s family and totally fell in love with little Prince William. The only thing I may be guilty of at this point is just being incredibly jealous of Kate Middleton. I mean, besides the fact that she’s gorgeous, she’s an incredibly lucky gal!

    The only slightly crazy thing to me, are the books coming out about the two of them. I mean, there’s this kids’ book at my work and I kid you not it’s a sticker book with a Kate and a William and every page is a different collection of outfit stickers for you to dress them up throughout their different daily activities! I mean, whoa. Haha.

    I’m hoping to catch some of the wedding though, I’m super happy for them 🙂

  21. “how are you going to feel at the end of your life when you look back and see that you chose to spend the time you were given actively trying to hurt others?”

    I don’t think people are going to think about that. I think when they die, if they are still bitter, they are going to be preoccupied with the sufferings they had throughout their life. They will think nothing of the wrongs they did; they will think of the wrongs done *unto* them. The will of think of times they felt inadequate, unloved, unnoticed, the times they felt wronged and unjustified, the times they felt treated terribly, the times they were wrongly judged. They never gave meaning to these sufferings throughout their life, so it stayed with them wherever they went, becoming a virus to anyone who held the hope and joy they feel they could never be a part of. At the end of the day, they aren’t smiling with cynical laughter, nor feeling regret; they’re suffering. They’re crying. And that is a very sad thing.

    Forgive them Emily… forgive them. Let all their spite roll of you with a smile, everytime, and respond with compassion. Let them never forsake your spirit, and at best, share it with them. I know I may sound ridiculous here but my hope is one day you’ll understand some of what I’m saying. Then you won’t suffer for any of what they say or do anymore.

    1. It’s something I’m really working on, it’s just hard when you so desperately wish the world was a better place and it seems so intent on proving otherwise sometimes. I’ve always been a “fight or flight” kind of person, and I’m not saying that’s good or bad – it can be both, I think. I’m devoted to learning to think more like you though 🙂

  22. I think the whole thing is magical! I’m not from England but my dad was born there so I have it in my blood. I also love your whole point about treating celebrities like real people. It’s a matter of integrity.

  23. I think your post is good reminder for everyone to celebrate big events in anyone’s life. William and Kate don’t have a choice but to be in the public eye, and I commend them for the great role models they’ve been. I certainly wouldn’t have the suaveness to pull that off. lol. I really hope the day is special for them, and I’m sure it means a lot to the Queen to see her first grandson be married, it’s a whole nother chapter in his life and journey to the thrown. Best wishes to them both!

    P.S. Your new photo is beautiful! I’m jealous of your hat!

    1. Aww thank you! It’s a little awkard to keep in place 😉

      I definitely commend the two of them too, for handling it with such grace. I’d be a nervous wreck and would probably pass out halfway down the aisle!

  24. I’m absolutely fascinated by the Royal Wedding. Mostly, it’s the American media coverage that confuses me – it’s not our country, but we have sent reporters there to cover the event, and I have no doubt that the American media will be pushy and intrusive, which upsets me. I grew up in a family that adored Princess Diana, and I obviously identify with William and Harry’s loss of their mother, so I’ve always thought of them kindly. I think Kate Middleton is not only a beautiful girl, but she seems to be very kind and intelligent as well. I think she will make the UK proud. I wish them well. I think no matter what, some people just like to complain and hate on others. How sad for them.

  25. Aside from the fact that it hasn’t happened yet and the media has already broadcast it for weeks, I think people are negative about the Royal wedding for a very simple reason. Little girls dream of being a princess but know that that dream will never come true. But here is Kate who will become Princess. People are jealous .

    I agree with Stacey about American media. It isn’t our country but we have reporters there, making it into almost like an awards show instead of a wedding.

    More people should be like you – in that understanding, positive, good influence kind of way. And I love that you still have your inner child and made cards.

  26. Well put! It seems so silly to waste energy raining on the parades of others. Personally, I can’t help but be fascinated by the whole shebang. Royal weddings only come around so often and it’s impossible for me to not get swept up in the excitement of it all (even if my husband keeps telling me, jokingly, that George Washington is rolling over in his grave over all this Brit-love going on :).

  27. Nice post em! I’m happy for Wills and Kate, but I’m not following it too closely. haha.

    Gossip is most definitely hurtful, and it’s something I have to tell myself to continuously work on.

  28. I think the wedding and all the hulabaloo surrounding it was wonderful! It was nice to be assaulted daily by the news of their wedding-goings-on rather than all the bad news elsewhere.

    The wedding was lovely and I wish them all the love and joy in the world…and I wish I lived in England so I could have an excuse to wear a crazy hat!

  29. Emily,
    Thank you for commenting on mine – I have sent you an email and I have tried to subscribe to your Blog – not sure I have done that correctly or not?

    Anyway, all the best and thank you

  30. I wrote a post the wedding myself, one of the ones that didn’t care for it.

    Nothing against the couple themselves, or even the monarchy, Britain. I take huge issue with the Wedding Industry, the amount of advertisement and hype over this and the fact that it completely overruns the news. In fact, I find most of the wedding industry faux-tradition and big price tags that far exceed their worth (like diamonds… though kudos on Diana for having a real precious stone that’s worth it’s price, instead of a semi-precious diamond, not worth a quarter of what it sells for).

    I can’t find out about, say, Libya, (usually a 20 second shtick) without getting 5 minutes on the damn Wedding or Celebrity gossip.

    Isn’t that back-asswards?

    Who cares about her dress when.. i don’t know… people are dying in Libya? There’s another regime about to topple? We might be heading into Pakistan? We’re about to close up shop in Iraq which has huge implied tasks?

    Then again, we wouldn’t have the royal wedding slammed down our throats if people didn’t grope for it with their grubby hands, eating at every detail. So my indignation has nothing to do with the royals, or the celebrities (I don’t care how many times Lindsey Lohan get’s a DUI) but has everything to do with the banal folks who love to hate, who want the latest information, and couldn’t give a crap how many troops are being sent to the Horn of Africa.

  31. I have issues with the monarchy in general but I actually have grown to like the idea of Kate and Wills together. The fact I got a day off work as a result was pretty awesome for a start! But yeah, they seem to be a sweet couple. I didn’t intend to watch the wedding at all, but I watched a bit. and i cried!!! embarrassing!

    What infuriates me most about the whole thing is that she isn’t princess kate. THEY, as a collective, are Prince and Princess William. As she is not royal blood, she is not a princess in her own right.

    That being said, the fact William has technically married a commoner is nice. Maybe it’s the start of some sort of royal integration with the rest of us. 🙂

  32. How has all this talk of weddings made you reflect on your own marriage? Have you been living the life of marital bliss with your prince. I wish you and your sweet all the best; I hope that every day you wake up with each other is just so special and that your hearts continue to grow as one. All the best with your own fairytale. Let us know how things are.

  33. i loved the wedding. everything about it. i don’t understand how and why people would wanna badmouth a true fairytale like that. i love how much in love they are. love rocks. period!

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